Words In Print

Today’s Los Angeles Times Calendar section (front page) includes my article “An Epic Battle For Gaming Glory” — about this week’s documentary release of The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters and the engaging good versus evil battle two men took part in, on their way to beating the world record for Donkey Kong.

If you’re one of those people who hates reading the physical paper because it “bleeds on you” or you live outside the L.A. area — you can read the article online here.

If I Was Living In A Remote Mountain Cabin Writing The Next Great American Novel And You Had Been Lost In The Mountains Having Not Eaten For Twenty Days, I Probably Wouldn’t Give You Any Food

At least I’m being honest, right?

Thing is, why or how I got to be some guy living in a remote mountain cabin writing the next great American novel is besides the point. Perhaps the hustle and bustle of big city living got to be too much. Perhaps I couldn’t concentrate with the constant fly-overs by commercial airliners. No matter. The reason for being there would be a moot point the minute your hungry lost abandoned-by-your-guides self showed up at my door.

At which point, if I’m being honest, I probably wouldn’t give you any food.

Soundtrack, Movie, Film Short & Blog

It’s a regular quadfecta of important 411 today!

It’s truly rare that I take a break from my cavalcade of comedy to link elsewhere, but I experienced a slew of awesome things this week that I felt was worth breaking from WFME’s original trajectory in order to bring them here, to you. In a nutshell, they are a soundtrack, movie, film short & blog..

Once is “a modern day musical set on the streets of Dublin. Featuring Glen Hansard from the Irish band “The Frames,” the film tells the story of a street musician and a Czech immigrant during an eventful week as they write, rehearse and record songs that reveal their unique love story.” Besides being scripted and feeling more real than most films (in both character and setting), the music is absolutely inspiring and engaging. Click over to the official site (linked above) and give a listen to the songs before you buy. Which you will do. Because this is a soundtrack you’re not going to want to miss out on.

Yesterday, I had the great opportunity to see the upcoming film The King of Kong (coming out August 17th). The film, a documentary about two men racing against time to get the world’s record for Donkey Kong, takes what some might think would be a thin premise and turns it into an engaging story about good and evil in the world of blips and bleeps. Most interesting is the “villain” of the movie — video game record guru Billy Mitchell (famous from the 80’s and 90’s for his set records on everything from Donkey Kong to Centipede) and how his almost Darth Vader-like grip on the people around him make him an evil, conniving, sneaky little bastard who refuses to let his challenger (a nice family man/teacher from Seattle) beat his score. No matter what he has to do. It’s truly great stuff and you shouldn’t miss it.

In the world of film shorts, it seems that blogger/actor/world-can’t-stop-me-proponent Jessica Stover is at it again. This time, it’s Artemis Eternal, a film short she wrote, will be acting in, and will be producing — and is currently in her fundraising stage of the project. But most people “in the fundraising stage” usually haven’t raised a darn thing. Stover? She’s well on her way to making her new project a reality. Swing on over and drop her a few bucks if you want to support the kind of maverick independent filmmaking Stover is involved with. And if you do, you’ll even get your name in the credits of the film!

Finally, I wanted to make mention of a new blog that I’ll be contributing to at least once a month. Burt Reynold’s Moustache is a blog made up of roughly 28 different writers — and each writer is assigned one day a month. On that day, anything can happen as long as it’s funny. It’s going to be funny, right? I hope so. I’m sure it will be. You can swing by today, or tomorrow, or on the 7th of every month (which happens to be my day).

Writing Your Own Choose Your Own Adventure Book Is Actually Pretty Tough

You wake up on the sandy white beaches of a far away island. The ship you were traveling on, the S.S. Wellington, is no more than a memory. And it’s passengers? Gone, except for you. A chest sits beside you and a dark ominous cave can be seen just at the horizon.

If you open the chest, continue to 1A.

If you go to the cave, continue to 1B.

The chest is locked and you don’t have the key.

If you curse the chest, go to 2A.

If you go back to where you were shipwrecked, go to AA.

The cave is scary. You have nothing to light your way.

If you go inside despite having no light (stupid decision), go to 3A.

If you go back to where you were shipwrecked go to AA.

You curse the chest with all your might. It still doesn’t open.

If you continue to curse the chest, go to 2A.

If you go back to where you were shipwrecked, go to AA.

You fall into a deep hole, impaling yourself on a sharp stick of some kind, although since it’s so dark you really can’t tell exactly what you impaled yourself on except for the fact that it has a “woodsy” smell to it.

If you cry out, desperately, go to 4A.

If you decide to die, go to 5A.

You cry out. Desperately. Good work.

If you decide to give up and die, your journey has ended.

If you decide to cry some more like a pansy whose fault it is anyway since you walked into a dark cave without a light source of any kind, go to 4A.

You die, in a dying kind of way.

The End.