If you listen to the news or talk to the “tastemakers” you know that today is the biggest shopping day of the entire year.
People were up while you were still sleeping, waiting in lines just so they could get their little hands on $2.99 DVDs, cheap flat panel televisions, and a myriad of other “overstock items” that have been prettied up by the word SALE. But still, if Best Buy can sell all their remainder DVDs by offering up great prices that drive the masses to their locations, then why isolate the fun to consumer related products? Why not include the blogs as well!?
That’s why TODAY ONLY there’s amazing deals here at WFME.
It has been brought to my attention that WFME has been banned from some of your work computers.
This of course, seemed ridiculous to me. I mean, this site has little (if zero) curse words. This site has no naked pictures (yes, you’re lucky there), no political leanings or rants and no off-color or racial jokes to annoy the general public. So it got me to thinking — for what reason would WFME be banned by the corporate I.T. bigwigs?
The following ten reasons were the only ones that I could come up with.
- Some companies, including media ones connected to superstar actor Ashton Kutcher, felt that my criticisms of his acting were so unreasonable that they would ban WFME out of spite.
I had a girlfriend once. Once.
And one night while we were sitting around her apartment there came a clatter from the closet. “Probably just the house settling,” I bravely suggested. But alas, there was more going on than that. When we opened the closet door we found a small scary-looking lizard rooting around in her umbrellas. We jumped back, startled, and did the only thing two Los Angeles residents with a lizard in their closet can do…
We sprayed it to death with Windex.
This is the post where bulletpoints figure prominently.
First and foremost, before the bulletpoints begin figuring prominently I’d just like to say that I wish people who wrote blogs would give you more notice before they unloaded a whole post filled with bulletpoints on you. A post of bulletpoints means all you’re gonna get is like a list of uninteresting crap that all couldn’t fill one entire post, but together they do. A bulletpointed post is the same as a poo poo platter at a Chinese restaurant. You get a little of everything and you’re still hungry when you’re done.
That’s why I figured I’d warn you that this is the post where bulletpoints figure, um, prominently.
Today is a day that will live in infamy.
For instead of giving you words for your enjoyment here on this site, I am instead directing you to check out the brand spanking-new, shiny and lovely Official Website for The Lost Blogs.
While there, you’ll be able to read excerpts from the book, peruse press clippings and videos, read about news, signings and appearances and even purchase items in the WOMP store.
Oh, right. What’s the WOMP?
The World Organization for Manuscript Preservation. Responsible for unearthing these fictitious digital blogs that populate the book that is called The Lost Blogs, already previously referenced in paragraph two. With a rich history that only the insane could craft — the WOMP might as well be real. In fact, maybe it is. Perhaps.
So go. Enjoy. Learn something.