- Super Dooper Director
- Mega Manager
- Executive Dreamer
- Lead Typist In An Office
- Coordinator of Copy Management
- Culinary Cooler Coordinator
- Morale Manager
- Director of Global Gossip
- Group Travel Manager, Happy Hour
- Senior Vice President, Other People’s Personal Business
On failing upward…
“Uncle Paul fell! Mahahahaha!”
On how to handle negative feelings towards co-workers…
“Spit in his tuna sandwich! Mahahahaha!”
On how to repair a lucrative business deal after making a huge mistake…”
“Do overrrrr! Mahahahaha!” [Loud screeching sound.]
It has been brought to my attention that WFME has been banned from some of your work computers.
This of course, seemed ridiculous to me. I mean, this site has little (if zero) curse words. This site has no naked pictures (yes, you’re lucky there), no political leanings or rants and no off-color or racial jokes to annoy the general public. So it got me to thinking — for what reason would WFME be banned by the corporate I.T. bigwigs?
The following ten reasons were the only ones that I could come up with.
- Some companies, including media ones connected to superstar actor Ashton Kutcher, felt that my criticisms of his acting were so unreasonable that they would ban WFME out of spite.
How appropriate that on Friday, a day where office workers around the world desperately attempt to escape the confines of the office — WFME longtime pal Hilary obsesses over this gem of an obsession (which is really, now c’mon, not an obsession at all):
“I have an idea for Words For Your Enjoyment — Paper towels and the idiot co-workers who can’t tear a sheet correctly, thus leaving you with a partial piece of paper towel; and leave the empty roll on the holder instead of replacing it with a new roll…”
Ahem. Somebody seems to be a little too concerned, to the point of lunacy, about this whole paper towel tearing scenario.
If I worked in Hell, the whole “yeah, work’s Hell” thing just wouldn’t work anymore.
I’d have to find an alternative way of telling you work was Hell, but if I did actually work in Hell (don’t ask me what kind of job although I suspect it would have something to do with making sure everyone was really unhappy and in extreme pain) I’ll bet you people who hated their jobs would walk around saying things like, “Yeah, work is heavenly” or “Although work sucks, it is so NOT Hell…”
And that would mean, it was hell but it wasn’t Hell.