These Are A Few Of My Favorite Letters
September 17th, 2006
B: You can’t go wrong with B. It’s just a solid, strong letter. Any word that starts out with B is not as forceful as a word that begins with a T (which is a letter I completely abhor), but it still can communicate it’s strength and backbone. Favorite words that start with B: ball, boy, big, boom and barrister.
G: What can I say about G that you don’t already know? G reminds me of the kind of childhood memories I still think about these days, which basically means that G has staying power. There’s really no other letter like G, although some people will tell you that G is a lot like H — but those people who say that are just bitter because their names are Harry or Henry. Favorite words that start with G: grand, grandiose, grandosity, green, greener, greenery and gabbery.
L: Any letter that also can double as a 90-degree angle in a math equation is tops in my books. Plus, it also doubles as a bookend and a fulcrum. Put two L’s together and you get a different sound in Spanish, and put three together in English and you get some wacky stuff going on. I’m sort of biased since when I was a kid my life was saved by an L, so that may be why I hold the L so close to my inner-self. I also love L because it stands strong in front of a bunch of M’s, N’s and O’s. Favorite words that start with L: love, linger, lasso, lariot, lesser and lanuga.
P: Is there anyone who didn’t know that this would be one of my favorite letters since it’s the first letter in my name? But let’s show a little more depth than that. I love the letter P because as a letter you pronounce, it also ends up being a word as well in the pronunciation of it. For example, say P and you get “pee” and “phee” and “please” if you slur your words enough. But even more than it’s double-duty as a letter and a word at the same time, the letter P makes me think of Niagra Falls, which is a beautiful natural wonder that we should all embrace. Favorite words that start with P: paul, pauly, pablocito, p diddy, pabloroco, payment-upon-receipt and porridge.
W: What’s W upside down? An M. And what do we think about M? Well, I think that M is far too mainstream for this list. M is sort of the Brad Pitt of the alphabet — meaning, it’s a letter that gets way too much play and attention. For that reason, I love W because W is turning M on its head. W is completely going the other direction and saying that he (W is male, by the way) doesn’t give a crap that people like M. W is going to do whatever it wants, no matter what the consequences. That’s fully demonstrated by the fact that W heads up words like: wack, womp, wicker and wonky. W rocks! W is so ghetto it ain’t even funny.
Most of the other letters of the alphabet suck. I mean, sure, you need them now and again to communicate with the rest of the world, but on a strictly “favorite letter” basis — I have to go with these elite five.
As for vowels, don’t get all vowel-hatin’ on me. Vowels get way too much attention even to the point of having a rhyming jingle attributed to them in elementary schools everywhere (“a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y”). Give credit where credit is due, and embrace my favorite letters with gusto!


