If I Could Perform Complicated Surgeries With A Toothpick

If I could perform complicated surgeries with a toothpick, my phone would never stop ringing.

Most calls, of course, would come from International locations like Burma and Greenland and Taiwan and Indonesia — where people are open minded about tricky, questionable, almost magical-like surgical techniques like mine and are more than happy to become guinea pigs if it means free gauze and syringes. But as quickly as they would call, the lists of patients would overwhelm…because when the media and journalists of the world saw what amazing things I could do with a toothpick…

…well, I’d be the King of the (Medical) World.