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Five Transcribed Notes As Left By The Jaded Tooth Fairy

September 30th, 2006

Dear Jimmy,
What, have you never heard of flossing?
Love, The Tooth Fairy

Dear Hannah,
I got your adorable note about how your
molar should be worth $29 because of
something called ‘inflation’. I’d like to
make you aware of something called
‘racketeering’ instead. Here’s $2.
Love, The Tooth Fairy

Dear Bobby,
I’ve never quite heard of a single
molar having gingivitis on it’s own,
so thanks for introducing me to that.
Love, Me

Dear Heather,
Who decorated this room? I mean,
really.
Love, The Big T

Dear Mr. Aames,
Veneers don’t count. Thanks for
wasting my valuable time, bastard.
Love, T.F.

Posted under Fives, Tooth Fairy. | 8 Comments »

WFME Makes Over The Tooth Fairy

August 6th, 2006

The Tooth Fairy so needs a makeover.

Think about how the Tooth Fairy was sold to you as a kid. First and foremost…a fairy. Fluttering wings, pixie dust, floats without being affected by gravity, breaks and enters into your house and then into your child’s bedroom…

And in a very pedophiliac way, slides their hands under your child’s pillow to “steal their teeth” and give them a slave wage labor equivalent in dirty change.

Like I said, a makeover is so overdue.

Continuing Words...

Posted under Tooth Fairy, WFME Makeover. | 5 Comments »