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November 13th, 2005
There’s something strange about public apple eaters.
Just like people who chew gum while they talk to you always come across as someone who couldn’t care less about what you have to say (or what they’re saying themselves) simply due to the fact that their mouth is moving and snapping and chewing gum repeatedly — public apple eaters also seem to communicate a specific emotional state. They want to make sure you know one very important piece of information.
That one very important piece of information? Public apple eaters want to make sure you know that they think they are so better than you.
Posted under Food and Drink, Thoughts. | 32 Comments »
November 9th, 2005
I’ve always wanted to use the word menagerie in a post title.
And now that I have, I feel vindicated. I feel satisfied. I feel…complete. Did you know that you, menagerie the word, you complete me? I just wanted to let you know that if you’re out there, menagerie… Meaning, if the word menagerie is out there and is a real living, breathing word that has awareness and is reading my post as I type it…you complete me.
And that’s just one of many thoughts in today’s menagerie of thoughts.
Posted under 80's, Affection, Dating, Ed Begley, Jr., Food and Drink, Me, Menagerie of Thoughts, Thoughts. | 22 Comments »
November 7th, 2005
Let me ask you a question.
If I told you I came up with a brand new invention that was like stairs, but they moved, and all you had to do was get on them and it would transport you to the upper level of any building… But the stairs were made out of sharp knife blades, would you tell me that was a good idea or a bad idea?
Right. So why then am I the only person to vilify escalators as the most dangerous transportation device on the face of the Earth?
Posted under Technology, Thoughts. | 40 Comments »
November 3rd, 2005
It’s not me…it’s you.
I don’t know what’s happened out there in society, but when did the trademark breakup phrase “It’s not you, it’s me” suddenly become the much more accusatory “It’s not me, it’s you”?
The original phrase used to work wonders in breaking up with someone you were dating, keeping one from having to list all the other person’s faults and hurting them at the same time — by just admitting (although it was a lie) that the reason for the break-up was out of the breakee’s hands since it was all due to the breaker-upper’s own issues.
But today? Things have substantially changed.
Posted under Dating, Love, Sayings, Thoughts. | 24 Comments »
October 27th, 2005
You. Must. Stop.
Every time we go out with people in public and we’re all sitting around the table eating or drinking, it invariably always ends up coming down to you. You clear your throat and you push yourself a little ways back from the table and you announce that you are about to challenge the entire table in the test to end all tests… “This will rival the questions of the Sphinx!” you announce, and most people wonder to themselves, what kind of questions do SINKS ask?
And then, without warning, you start rubbing your stomach and patting your head.
“Eh? EH!? Can YOU do that?”
Posted under Thoughts. | 12 Comments »
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