You are currently browsing the archive for the 'Thoughts' Category
April 9th, 2006
It happens to all of us at one time or another.
We’re driving in our cars on the freeway or on a road somewhere or we’re stopped in traffic and we look over and see some person picking their nose with reckless abandon. We giggle and make mention of it to the people around us, laughing hysterically because some guy is picking his nose. And usually somewhere inbetween laughing and staring, the nose-picker turns to us and engages in an eye-locking stare.
It’s uncomfortable, for sure. But it shouldn’t be.
Posted under Picking Your Nose, Thoughts. | 20 Comments »
January 4th, 2006
They think they are the masters of the marinade.
They believe they are the most famous of the flamers, flippers and fryers. They have no pause in telling you that they are the reaper of the roast or the giant of the grill. They have their own gold-plated spatula that doesn’t scratch teflon and doesn’t make excuses.
They are the barbecue egomaniacs…and I hate them with a passion.
Primarily, if you don’t have to go to school in order to become an expert in any given field (TV/VCR programming, jumping rope, lighting crap on fire, picking fruit, opening jars, building a shelter out of drift-wood and/or getting the mail from the mailbox) then I don’t think you should be able to act like an idiego-head (idiot meets egotistical stupidhead) while standing in front of the barbecue.
Posted under Food and Drink, Thoughts. | 21 Comments »
December 22nd, 2005
We all have to do it.
We see a basket filled with “fruit” and we immediately ask the people around us, “Hey, is this fake fruit or real fruit?”. No, we don’t ask it of fruit we find in fridges, of course. But I would guarantee you that 8 out of 10 people who walk past a basket or bowl of fruit will ask this question within two minutes of coming in contact with a bowl of fruit.
It’s a problem, I think, that has a much deeper meaning.
Posted under Food and Drink, Psychology, Thoughts. | 37 Comments »
November 26th, 2005
Just take a moment and think about it.
It shouldn’t matter that you have no idea what I’m asking you to think about, nor should it matter that even if you were to think about something in an attempt to do what I’m asking you do to — you’d still be clueless about what exactly you should be thinking about.
Just think about it, okay?
Find a nice quiet place, on the corner of a nice comfortable couch, and pull up a nice squishy foot stool and put your nice warm, sock-enclosed feet on the top of said squishy foot stool next to that couch in that quiet place and just start thinking about it. If you could put your chin in one of your hands as if to illustrate the fact that you’re thinking about it, that would convince me that you were indeed thinking about it — which would make me pleased.
Posted under Thoughts. | 18 Comments »
November 16th, 2005
You’d think someone would come up with a more friendly-feeling vomit bag.
Let’s face it — you’ve all been there before. Sitting on a plane, dealing with turbulence, just having eaten some kind of square shaped meal covered in mandarin orange colored gravy, and you start to feel a rumbling in your stomach and the sweats begin. You suddenly realize that somethings comin’ up and you need to catch it quick so you “grab for the bag.”
It’s like hurling into a ream of paper.
Posted under Thoughts, Travel. | 26 Comments »
« Previous words - More words »
