I Am Officially Banning Things

Today I would like to officially ban a list of things that must be removed from the world immediately. They include:

  • Olives stuffed with feta cheese
  • Bumper stickers that brag about your children’s insignificant accolades
  • Any and all Leapfrog sub-par children’s electronic products
  • Pomegranates
  • Ships in glass bottles
  • Centimeters…as a measurement. (Who needs ’em!?)
  • VHS copies of the 80’s film My Tutor
  • Corey Feldman

Thank you for your time.