Ten Classic TV Shows, Reimagined For Today’s Discerning Audiences

  1. Petticoat Junction: (Reality) Hot chicks. In a water tower. That’s been “reimagined” into a hot tub with endless Ketel One vodka screwdrivers. Each week, one guy enters the hot tub in an attempt to snag the phone number of one of the Petticoat hotties. Each week, one man enters…and if he’s lucky…he leaves with a chick! Oh, and in the opening interviews, the girls wear petticoats. But not in the hot tub. In the hot tub…they wear nothing!

The Procedural Cop Shows of My Dreams Have Stupid Characters

Picture this.

A group of city cops are faced with a disturbing scenario. A woman’s body has been found in the alley behind their nighttime haunt — a bar where all the cops go to hang after a hard day’s work. Her body, it seems, was tossed from the attic window above the bar, and was dead before it hit the ground. Two of the the most intelligent cops (played by Grey’s Anatomy‘s Isaiah Washington and actor Forrest Whittaker) believe that someone frequenting the bar is the murderer.

Little do they know, they’re instincts are correct…and the person at fault is a total idiot.

It Seems Cylons Aren’t Perfect (And Neither Is Lucy Lawless’ Fingernail)

You may think I’m insane but I’m going to go here anyway.

If you’re a fan of the amazing Battlestar Galactica on SciFi Channel, then you know all about the beautiful human-looking cylons on the show. They’re perfect in every single way — and it’s no wonder because that’s how the Cylons made them out to be. Flawless, perfect and possessing no mutant genes whatsoever. And when you watch the show, specifically such actors as Trish Helfer and Lucy Lawless — you’re convinced that the Cylons knew what they were doing. And I was right there with all you fans.

That is, until I discovered that Lucy Lawless’ character, D’Anna Biers, has got a nasty fingernail mutation.

Prison Break: The Drinking Game

Aw, I feel bad for FOX’s Prison Break.

What was a pretty kick-ass show in its first season has quickly become the equivalent of a “shaggy dog story” (a story that goes on and on with no real end in sight, and then when the end comes it’s laughable) with its twisting plot lines and overly dramatic plot points. And apparently, besides people watching it for pretty-boy Wentworth Miller, there really isn’t much more of a reason to watch it…until now.

I give you Prison Break: The Drinking Game.

Reporting Words

Today’s Hollywood Reporter spills the beans on one of my latest previously-secret projects:

Meanwhile, ABC has ordered a script for “The Box,” a one-hour drama focusing on a legal case that takes place over the course of one season. The project follows the 12 jury members, who are faced with deliberating a high-profile murder trial as they uncover truths about the case, their fellow jurors and themselves.

Michael MacLennan, whose credits include Showtime’s “Queer as Folk,” and Paul Davidson, author of such books as the recent “The Lost Blogs,” are writing. Fred Gerber (Fox’s “House”) is attached to direct.

Zadan, Meron, MacLennan and Gerber are executive producing, while Davidson is co-executive producing.

You can see the entire text of the article here.