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January 22nd, 2007
I couldn’t care less about football.
Burn me at the stake or speak ill will of me because of it, but my idea of fun isn’t sitting down and watching guys in uniform run up and down a field with a pigskin, in what is most-obviously a less toned down, less violent recreation of what the Romans must have enjoyed in their heyday. But these days? Football is just another way for people to make money, get others to spend money, and I’m just not having it. And that seems to bother a lot of people.
That’s why I’ve invented the Fantasy Football Watchers League.
Continuing words »
Posted under Fantasy Football, Football, Inventions, Sports, Superbowl. | 7 Comments »
February 8th, 2006
Go ahead and ask me about the game last night.
I can agree with you about how great of a game it was last night and how I was on the edge of my seat and oh my god how that one play that you just outlined before me was a must-see moment of athletic prowess and that what’s-his-name and what’s-his-name really are two of the best what-do-you-callits in the history of whichever sport it is that we are discussing…
…while all the time having no idea what we’re talking about.
Posted under Me, Sports. | 22 Comments »
August 18th, 2005
The Ancient Greeks who were fearful of competing in the Coliseum were the very same historical folks who invented Thumb Wars.
A relatively cheap sport to take part in (can you say ‘free’?), thumb wrestling has always been an innocent game for children and wimps who are afraid of man-eating lions, but has (over time) taken on a variety of other meanings. Whether it has become a dating ice-breaker between two people desperate to touch each other or as a way to solve petty arguments in the workplace…thumb wrestling is the end all be all of non-threatening physical force.
And I am deathly afraid of losing at such a game.
Posted under Fears, Sports. | 33 Comments »
February 13th, 2005
Wanna get into the Olympics? Well, if you do you’re gonna need dedication, athleticism, pure gutteral energy, lots of money, an American Express card (cause I don’t take Visa or Mastercard) and my superior gymnastic coaching ability.
Yes, that’s right. I know gymnastics.
What started out as a desire to touch my toes quickly evolved into a desire to hang from the rings, doing flips and contorting my body much like those in Cirque du Soleil have done. But from there, my desire outweighed my skill, and so I did what all Olympic hopefuls do when they cannot cope with the pressure — they coach.
Posted under I Could Be, Sports. | 4 Comments »
January 2nd, 2005
“Holy crap, did you just see that play!?”
Yes. I’m amazing, I know. For a guy who could (honestly) care less about Professional Football, College Football or Sportscenter I can sit there right next to you with a handful of chips in one hand and the remote in the other and hit REPLAY on my TiVo over and over again to show you the amazing interception that just occurred.
“That’s got to be one of the most amazing interceptions I’ve seen in 10 months!”
In reality, it’s probably the only interception I’ve seen in 10 months.
Posted under I Could Be, Sports. | 2 Comments »
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