I’ve Decided I Really Don’t Like Good n’ Plenty

Everytime I go to the movies, I get Good n’ Plenty.

People look at me like I’m crazy, because who goes to the movies and picks a box of purple and white-colored covered black licorice pieces over M&Ms and ice cream bites and popcorn and so on and so on and so on? Who goes to a supermarket and just walks out with a red onion? Who loses a limb in a tragic car accident and goes to the limb-replacement store and chooses a wet piece of steak for a left arm instead of a hi-tech gleaming metal claw?

This thought process made me decide that I really don’t like Good n’ Plenty after all.

What People Are Saying About Spiderman 3

Guy #1: “I’ll see Spiderman 3.”
Guy #2: “But I thought you vowed not to see it.”
Guy #1: “I changed my mind.”
Guy #2: “Why?”
Guy #1: “This one’s got a black Spiderman.”

## ## ##

Girl #1: “Tobey Maguire looks like an elf.”
Girl #2: “And Kirsten Dunst — please girl, fix those teeth already.”
Girl #1: “And that guy from Sideways is the villain?”
Girl #2: “Ugh.”
Girl #1: “We’re going Friday.”
Girl #2: “Yeah, us too!”

## ## ##

Guy #1: “They say Spiderman 3 is going to make a bucket of money this weekend.”
Guy #2: “Oh yeah?”
Guy #1: “Yeah. And that 4 out of 5 moviegoers have expressed interest in seeing that movie.”
Guy #2: “Well, what else is opening in theaters?”
Guy #1: “Um, that Drew Barrymore movie where she meets some guy at a casino.”
Guy #2: “And it’s still only 4 out of 5?”