The Post Where I Complain

I don’t like broccoli.

Sure, there are people out there who will tell you that if you just pour thick Velveeta cheese all over the broccoli’s green stalks of steaming hot blandness, that you will be able to stomach a vegetable that reminds me of the small trees that made up the forest on The Smurfs and which usually those damn Smurfs hid under when Gargamel was trying to find them to eat them. Of course, I half wish Gargamel would have found them and eaten them cause then maybe he would have realized that they taste just as bad as broccoli and the Smurf-bigoted Gargamel would have decided to take up a different hobby.

Words For Your Enjoyment: Fanaticals

A rock in the hand is worth two in the bush, which as long as it isn’t rolling down a hill and into a glass house, probably means that today brings us yet another edition of your favorite-ist, guilty-ist pleasure-ist kind-ist of post-ist… “Words For Your Enjoyment”.

Today, WFME reader Meg asks, “Would you rather have the respect of the writing community (both online and in your professional life) or a monstrous reader base that borders on fanatical? You must show your mental work in reaching your answer.”

Oh, Meg. Meg, Meg, Meg, Meg, Meg. (God, I sort of wish I could do a whole post on how the more I say Meg’s name, the more it sounds like an iron rod that construction workers use in putting together buldings or a glue-compound used in carpet installation. But instead, I will do what I’m here to do.)

Words For Your Enjoyment: Smurfs

There’s really no way to lead up to it.

Today’s “Words For Your Enjoyment” has been creatively supplied by none-other than WFME’s resident blog antagonist, Steve. Here to keep me honest, he has provided me with the question to end all questions… Steve asks WFYE, “Which Smurf would you be?”

Hoo boy.

There is like no question whatsoever that if I had the opportunity to be a Smurf, that I would so be Smurfette.

There’s a really easy mentality here, but to put it all into perspective, please peruse the following list of all of the Smurfs ever in existence: Papa Smurf, Lazy Smurf, Handy Smurf, Brainy Smurf, Clumsy Smurf, Tailor Smurf, Farmer Smurf, Dreamy Smurf, Harmony Smurf, Painter Smurf, Hefty Smurf, Vanity Smurf, Jokey Smurf, Poet Smurf, Grouchy Smurf, Baker Smurf, Greedy Smurf, Snappy Smurf, Slouchy Smurf, Baby Smurf and Grandpa Smurf. What do they all have in common?