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April 8th, 2007
First let me just wish everyone a Happy Easter.
Secondly, let me use this blog as my virtual confessional booth to tell you that when I was younger, more impressionable, and my positive mature values had yet to instill themselves in me — I consistently shoplifted candy from a local drugstore in my hometown. And besides stealing gum, I always got giddy as each calendar year reached Easter because I knew it meant that the Cadbury Creme Eggs were on their way. And then I stole them with such skill that even I impressed myself.
Today, I will share such stealthy skills with all of you.
Posted under Cadbury Creme Eggs, Easter, Holidays, Shoplifting, WFME's Guide to Shoplifting. | 9 Comments »
May 17th, 2005
I was standing in the candy aisle when the ruckus started.
Yes, a ruckus. A big ‘ol, noisy, crazy, arm-shuffling, leg twitching ruckus in the corner of the local drug store. A man in his mid 40’s wearing flip-flops and with long straight hair (like the Professional (COUGH) Fisherman from The Bachelor) and wearing a un-tucked suit jacket with a phone in his hand was being gingerly moved towards the back of the store by a small Asian kid in a Pharmacy uniform.
“Just come with us,” the kid said.
“But why?” said the guy. “What’s going on?”
Posted under Overheard, Shoplifting. | 3 Comments »
November 26th, 2004
On this joyous Friday, WFME hopes everyone’s distended bellies have finally returned to normal shape, ready to get back to business on this beautiful San Franciscan day. And what better way to experience such a clear, crisp morning but to bring a special “Words For Your Enjoyment” to you from abroad.
This week, the ideas do not come from e-mails or IM’s or hand-written letters on exquisite stationary, but the topic comes from Grandparent camp, who are currently going off on an old-person tirade that goes a little bit something like this:
“Look at all these sales in the paper today. My gosh, there are so many sales. There’s so much savings being passed along to the consumer today. This is a wonderful thing.”
Posted under Holidays, Shoplifting, WFYE. | 8 Comments »
November 21st, 2004
For as long as I can ever remember — going to the Mall has made me light-headed, dizzy and sick.
Sure, some could say that I am a guy and guys have not been genetically-enhanced with the genes that allow them to walk through a mall without becoming violently ill or somewhat-sickly. Sure, some could offer up that the reason for my light-headed dizzy thing is all psychological because I do not want to be there and do not want to have anything to do with the Mall itself. Others might suggest that it is the variety of smells (perfume, cookies, leather, pretzels, bath bombs, chinese food, suede and coffee) that causes such gag-inducing sickness.
Posted under Shoplifting. | 14 Comments »
