The BFF Debacle

Best. Friends. Forever.

A phrase that has, at least, been around for decades is now the bane of my existence — putting me in an awkward situation with a fellow BFF’er who went against the grain and the rules of being a BFF. Because as everyone knows, based on section six, paragraph two point five of the BFF Code of Conduct… If you’re someone’s BFF, you can’t be a BFF to another person. And if you are a BFF to more than one person in each area of your life (work, school, religion, family, et al), you are a BFF-whore that I don’t want to talk to.

Which, in a nutshell, is what this whole BFF debacle is all about.

Re-Stating The Rules of ‘The Wave’

I can’t believe I have to do this again.

When I’m driving past you on the street in my car and I wave at you, you wave back. I don’t care if you think you know me or you’re not quite sure who it is that’s waving at you or the passenger side window is tinted or something… I don’t care if you believe that you should only wave to people you know… I don’t even care if you have a sore thumb from your Crackberry…

If someone waves, you wave back.

And while truckers don’t need to read any further here (since they almost always respond to waves with a myriad of follow-up hand motions and horn honking), the rest of you might want to re-familiarize yourself with the rules of waving.

Ten Rules for Making Rules

Society collapses without rules.

So too, do everyday actions like calling shotgun, sharing a movie-theater armrest and choosing a urinal in a public bathroom. In fact, rules are the cornerstone of what we do, how we do it, why we do it and when we do it. Without rules, society would just be a chaotic place, with chaoticness and chaos and a bunch of crazy chaotic crazies.

But most people aren’t that great at making rules.

That’s why I thought it would be helpful for me to reveal one of the most carefully guarded secrets of mine (in addition to the one that involves me, a starlett and a sushi restaurant) so that the rest of society could benefit from it. I mean, didn’t that one guy say that one time something about how if you are doomed to repeat society or something, that we must learn from our secret guarded rule lists or something?