Today’s Ambiguous Conversation With Snoopy Drugstore Cashier Lady

[Hypothetical character named (let’s just say) Pauly D, at the cashier station in a local drug store. He puts toilet paper, toothpaste and a Twix bar on the counter. Hypothetical, blonde-haired, mid-40’s cashier is behind the counter.]

Hypothetical Character Named Pauly D: “Hi.”

Hypothetical Character Blonde Cashier: “Somebody’s got big plans today.”

Hypothetical Character Named Pauly D: “Sorry?”

Hypothetical Character Blonde Cashier: “A Twix bar? Toilet paper and toothpaste? C’mon. Sure, you’re missing the magazine — but let’s not pretend we both don’t know where you’re going the minute you get home.”

Hypothetical Character Named Pauly D: “And that would be…where?”

Hypothetical Character Blonde Cashier: “Nevermind.”

Hypothetical Character Named Pauly D: “Seriously, I don’t know what you mean.”

Hypothetical Character Blonde Cashier: “TWIX.”

Hypothetical Character Named Pauly D: “Uh huh?”

Hypothetical Character Blonde Cashier: “Toilet paper.”

Hypothetical Character Named Pauly D: “And toothpaste. So?”

Hypothetical Character Blonde Cashier: “Sorry, maybe it’s none of my business. That’s eleven-fifty two.”

[Hypothetical character Pauly D pays. Hypothetical Blonde Cashier takes it, leery.]

Hypothetical Character Blonde Cashier: “You’re that transparent, FYI.”

Hypothetical Character Named Pauly D: “Yeah, thanks.”

[The Hypotheticals part ways, and still, nothing is clarified.]