WFME’s FAQ in Progress

WFME gets a lot of questions a lot of the time.

That’s why, effective immediately, I’m crafting the FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) for the site. Today, I’ve decided to post some of the questions I’ve received and start by answering them after the break. Just click on in there and you’ll get a chance to learn the answers to some of WFME’s most asked questions.

Remember, if you don’t like the answers or you’re unhappy I’ve printed your questions, your only options are to ignore me completely or file a FAQ-attack through the appropriate factions (www.faqattack.com). Otherwise, just sit back and learn the answers to potentially some of the questions you’ve had but were afraid to ask about.

Great Follow-Up Responses To Answers That Have No True Follow-Ups

“What’s your dog’s name?”

It’s a question that joins a slew of other questions that really, once you’ve gotten the answer, don’t have any true sensible follow-ups. It joins fellow non-followup’d answers to questions like “How old is your baby?”, “You’ve got allergies today too, huh?” and “Do you smell that?”

Yet today, I’d like to provide you with a slew of great follow-up responses to answers that have no true follow-ups. I’d like to provide you the tools for turning a quiet moment following a not-so-quiet response to your question, and give you the mad skillz to turn things around. And it’s bound to make your life in a world of non-followup’d answers to questions…much much easier.

Today’s Brief Question About Life Maybe Possibly Being A Highway And My Thoughts On Not Wanting To Be Riding It All Night Long

Sure, life may be a highway.

But honestly? Even if life was a highway, would you really want to be riding it all night long? I mean, sure it’s a metaphor so to speak, but isn’t that metaphor basically saying that life is a looooooong long road and that it goes on forever and might as well just ride it without stopping, even throughout the entire night without ever taking a break? Not even to shack up in a motel or anything?

You just don’t live life that way, people. You just don’t.

Today’s Hypothetical Question

Let’s say you had this friend.

And let’s say this friend was desperately in love with this girl, who happened to be his girlfriend. And let’s say one day you were going to pick up a video at Blockbuster Video and on your way in you noticed the same girl sitting in a Mercedes Benz in the parking lot. And let’s say the Mercedes Benz wasn’t your friend’s car. And let’s say you hid behind a trash bin so you could get a better look and noticed that your friend’s girlfriend was totally macking out with some other guy. And let’s say your first instinct was to just call up your friend right then and there and tell him what was going on. But then let’s say that your second instinct was, “he’s not going to believe me, I’d better take a picture with my cell phone first…” And then let’s say you snuck up right up next to the car with the cell phone and creeped up so you could snap a picture. And let’s say the window to the passenger side door of the Mercedes Benz was open a crack and so the “automated-snap” sound alerted your friend’s girlfriend and she stopped macking out and turned to look to see what was outside the window. And let’s say that your friend’s girlfriend saw you and suddenly got really really worried. And let’s say that your friend’s girlfriend got out of the car and said something like, “Oh please Paul… (just putting my name in here for hypothetical purposes, FYI) …please don’t tell so-and-so that you saw me.” And let’s say that you told her you didn’t know what to do because so-and-so was your best friend and you’d only known her for like ten months. And let’s say that’s right about the time your best friend’s girlfriend said, “well, we COULD get to know each other even better if you want…” And let’s say you didn’t know what to do so you said something like, “I can’t deal with this right now but I don’t know what I’m going to do…” And let’s say that was right around the time you left and rented your video and then went home.

Would you tell your friend and what would you…hypothetically say?

Today’s Brief Question About Digging Up Corpses

What’s so awesome about digging up corpses?

I know I’m getting older and I know I’m a little more responsible so maybe this whole fad is totally going over my head, but it seems like everyone I know lately has given up the partying and getting loaded out at bars for this whole Friday night digging up corpses thing. Personally, I have a certain level of respect for those who have died and been buried in a cemetary, so I don’t know why other people find such joy in having corpse digging parties.

Can anyone shed some light on this one?