Prison Break: The Drinking Game

Aw, I feel bad for FOX’s Prison Break.

What was a pretty kick-ass show in its first season has quickly become the equivalent of a “shaggy dog story” (a story that goes on and on with no real end in sight, and then when the end comes it’s laughable) with its twisting plot lines and overly dramatic plot points. And apparently, besides people watching it for pretty-boy Wentworth Miller, there really isn’t much more of a reason to watch it…until now.

I give you Prison Break: The Drinking Game.

Wentworth Miller Can Break Out of Prison, But Not A Dead-End Job

Do you watch Prison Break?

I’ve been a fan of the show since it started, and this season is following our previously incarcerated convicts across the country as they each make their way towards freedom. Yet, it’s tough for me to completely buy into Wentworth Miller as Michael Scofield breaking out of prison thanks to previously real-world run-ins I had with the guy a few years prior.

See, Wentworth Miller can break out of prison, but not a dead-end job.

The year isn’t important, but I used to work for The Jim Henson Company in their film department awhile back. Some of you already know this from my nightmare experiences with the beloved red-furred egotistical Elmo. But besides such frustrating experiences, there was even more frustration up near the receptionist desk at the JHC where, yes, Wentworth Miller was answering phone calls.

If I Was Going To Break Out of Prison

If I was going to break out of prison, I would have to be there in the first place.

How I got there would obviously involve a story I wouldn’t like to tell often because it would have involved a shotgun loaded with blanks, twelve Capri-Sun drink pouches, a rotten zucchini, three musical dwarfs, a local bank and a family size bucket of Popeye’s chicken — and would you believe I was totally innocent despite what the jury decided?

Guilty, they had said — then deposited me into a jail where I would now be. And due to my milky-white, smooth-skinned coconut-smelling self being behind bars… I would have to get outta there as quickly as I possibly could.