WFME’s Advice to High-Schoolers: Pole Vaulting Edition

I’ve finished high school and got my degree.

Which makes me exponentially-qualified to introduce today’s new feature: Words For My Enjoyment’s Advice To High Schoolers. In it, I give advice to those between the ages of 15 and 18, providing a unique cockeyed view of those years of abandonment, ridicule, the varsity sports class caste system and cafeteria mischievousness. I also like to go to the dark places that most people never do.

That being said, sit back with your parent’s prescription drugs and get cozy for this Pole Vaulting edition.