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July 24th, 2007
I decided it was time to do it.
To throw caution to the wind, rocks in glass houses, and feces in the faces of wannabe pirates everywhere.
Because when Pauly D decides it’s time to do something, he doesn’t let old antiquated sayings and poop pirates keep him from following through.
Because in the immortal words of The Secret you can, um, you know, do whatever it is you want as long as you do whatever it is you want.
That’s why I decided to finally wear my first eye patch.
Posted under Eyepatch, Pirates, Wearing Things. | 13 Comments »
November 20th, 2005
If you were to line up the list of activities at your (future) funeral against the list of activities at my (future) funeral, it would be obvious to the rest of the world that your funeral will so suck more than mine.
This primarily has to do with you going the “safe route” once again, even after you’ve died. You and the flowers and the open casket and the soft lilting music and the somber, sad speeches. It’s like one big yawn in one big room in one big moment.
But my funeral? Kick ass.
Posted under Death, Me, Pirates, Stream of Consciousness. | 32 Comments »
August 22nd, 2005
Arrggggggghhh!
It’s how I’d always start my session with you as a pirate psychologist.
As a pirate psychologist, I would be used to the initial uncomfortability factor that always seemed to “just be there” in the room when you entered for counseling. There would be the fact that you couldn’t look me right in both eyes (due to my eye patch) and the annoying tapping of my wooden leg on the wooden floor. There would be the glimmer of the gold in my teeth and the annoying parrot on my shoulder.
But let me tell you this — I would be soooooo good.
Posted under Pirates, What If. | 28 Comments »
