I Have A Concern About Getting Through To The Next Level on American Idol

It has nothing to do with singing.

I’m more concerned with the fact, that after I auditioned for Paula and Randy and Simon and they gave me my three YES votes that allowed me to go to the next level in Hollywood, that when I walked out that audition door with my little paper flyer and there were cameras and Ryan Seacrest waiting for me to come out all excited…

…that the people I invited to come with me, who were ALSO waiting out there, wouldn’t really be exciting enough for National TV.

The American Idol Rejection Construction Kit (Psyche! Edition)

You watch American Idol, right?

Last night, our beloved judges brought the remaining group of hopefuls into a room and told them if they were going to make it onto the show or not. And what struck me very plainly at that moment was that Randy, Paula and Simon need someone to provide them a very special algorithm in order to keep those rejections fresh and the contestants guessing up until that last minute whether or not the judges mean to say they’re through — or kicked to the curb.

So I give you The American Idol Rejection Construction Kit (Psyche! Edition)!

Words For Your Enjoyment: Excite-o-Lifes

Fridays used to be glorious until I found out that the ancient origins of the word “Friday” happens to be “Fry-day” as in “day that innocent people were burnt as offerings to the gods.”

Now I spit on you, Friday.

But since I never had anything to do with public burnings and since I don’t plan on getting involved in public burnings anytime soon (at least not until the Officially Sponsored Armageddon) — I have decided to reinstate WFME’s wonderful “Words For Your Enjoyment.” That’s where you supply the idea, I write it, and we all forget about the witch trials and the drownings and yes…the burnings.

And this week — things just happen to get even more exciting.

An Emmy Story (Or, Paula Abdul’s Assistant Needs Deodorant)

I attended the wonderful Emmy Awards last night at the Shrine Auditorium.

It was a gala event filled with glorious celebrities with wonderful dresses and sparkling smiles… It was a room packed with the excitement of a thousand nights, celebrating all that is Television in the most classy way possible. Everywhere you looked there were stars mingling with the “regular folk” — going against the grain and proving to most that they are genuine, down-to-earth, and normal human beings just like the rest of us.

Oh, and Paula Abdul‘s assistant needs to start using deodorant.