Today’s Advice To An Incarcerated Paris Hilton

I feel for Paris Hilton. Honestly.

It’s obvious to me the girl has been made an example in a world of celebrities skirting criminal and negligent charges on a weekly basis — and this whole back and forth of her being in prison is just a three ring circus for the media’s sake. That being said, her mysterious “medical condition” (the so called catalyst for letting her out in the first place) was revealed this past weekend: she wasn’t eating because she didn’t want to have to go to the bathroom and have guards take pictures of her on the can.

Well, today…I’m here to give Paris Hilton the best advice of her short-lived prison stay.

Celebrities Are Just Like You and Me

A slew of star sightings are this weekend’s talk of the town, confirming yet again that celebrities are just like you and me.

Take for example Leonardio DiCaprio seen putting a dollar coin into a parking meter and jamming the darn thing up, then throwing his hands up in frustration when he realized he’d probably end up getting a parking ticket. Or what about Katie Holmes, seen this weekend in Beverly Hills shopping with Victoria Beckham…at a local Crate & Barrel store where one was overheard saying to the other, “Do you think they’re having a sale?”

Or what about that celebrity sighting of Paris Hilton, seen eating an ice cream cone from the bottom up (biting the bottom then sucking ice cream through the funnel) after taking a penny from a local Ben & Jerry’s tip dish, just to cover her ice cream purchase? And what about Charlie Sheen, seen moving his car so that the meter maid’s chalk mark on his tire wouldn’t be seen the next time they came around the block?

There’s been a slew of other sightings this past week of celebs doing things just like you and me. Katherine Heigl from Grey’s Anatomy was seen hitting her brakes to keep a tailgater from driving too close. Sally Field was seen squeezing squashes at a local outdoor farmer’s market. Neil Patrick Harris of TV’s How I Met Your Mother was spotted at a local Hollywood gym staying on the elliptical machine for over 30 minutes (which was the posted limit of time one could stay on the fitness machines), then resetting the clock so no one would know he’d been on for like fifty minutes. Or what about WFME’s favorite Sarah Michelle Gellar spotted out and about smoking a pack of cigarettes, and addicted to the darn things just like you and me!?

And across the coast, in Gotham, SNL‘s Andy Samberg was spotted with mustard on the corner of his mouth, Alec Baldwin was seen adjusting his shoe, Jack Nicholson was overheard complaining about an uncooked doughnut, and let’s not forget reports about Jim Belushi buying stamps from an ATM! Just like you. And just like me.

It’s nice to know that celebrities are real people.

Isn’t it?