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March 29th, 2008
As said by a Banana Republic staff member to another father in the store:
“Have you seen ‘The Little Mermaid’? Dude, whatever you do, do NOT let your daughter watch that movie. That movie encourages the young girl to defy her father, then hook up with an older man!! It’s insane, dude. Her father is like the king of the sea or something. If you’re the king of the sea and your little girl stops listening to you, I can only imagine what your daughter is gonna do in the real world after seeing that movie. I mean, you’re not the king of the sea, right?”
Posted under Banana Republic, Overheard, Shopping, The Little Mermaid, Walt Disney. | 4 Comments »
December 3rd, 2007
Him: “Oranges!”
Me: “You’re selling oranges!?”
Him: “Yah, oranges!”
Me: “How much?”
Him: “Five bucks a bag.”
Me: “Where’d you get the oranges from!?”
Him: “God made these oranges!”
Me: “But where’d you get them from?”
Him: “God.”
Posted under Default, Entrepreneur, God, Highway, Oranges, Overheard, Religion. | 10 Comments »
August 16th, 2007
[At the front counter of a diner, paying in cash.]
Cashier: “Thank you.”
Me: “No, thank YOU.”
Cashier: “Seriously, thank you.”
Me: “Just so you know, I’ll be the last person to say thank you.”
Cashier: “Okay, thank you for telling me.”
Me: “No, I’d rather thank YOU.”
[She hands over my change.]
Me: “Thank you. Seriously. No need to say anything e-”
Cashier: “Thank you.”
Me: “Ha. THANK YOU.”
[I race for the door, open it, and-]
Cashier: “Thaaaaaank you!!!”
[I exit, wait for the door to almost close, then shout through the crack-]
Me: “Thank you!”
[Minutes later, I’m unlocking my car in the parking lot… The Cashier sticks her head out the back door…]
Cashier: “Thank YOU!”
[I leave well enough alone.]
Posted under Overheard, Thank You. | 7 Comments »
June 4th, 2007
Waitress: “…and you can get that with chedddar or swiss.”
Him: “That’s a tough one.”
Her: “Just go with cheddar.”
Him: “Just go with cheddar? Why.”
Her: “Because cheddar is better.”
Him: “What, is that a saying or something?”
Her: “No. But swiss is rank.”
Him: “Swiss is rank?”
Waitress: “Should I just give you two a minute?”
Her: “No, he’ll have cheddar.”
Him: “No, I’ll have swiss.”
Her: “You don’t even LIKE swiss.”
Him: “How do you know what I like.”
Her: “Because we’re married. I know everything about you.”
Him: “Well, apparently not. Because I like swiss. Swiss, please.”
Waitress: “Okay. Thanks.”
Her: “You’re going to regret the swiss.”
Him: “In a minute, I’m going to regret marrying you.”
Posted under Cheddar, Cheese, Overheard, Swiss. | No Comments »
May 3rd, 2007
Guy #1: “I’ll see Spiderman 3.”
Guy #2: “But I thought you vowed not to see it.”
Guy #1: “I changed my mind.”
Guy #2: “Why?”
Guy #1: “This one’s got a black Spiderman.”
## ## ##
Girl #1: “Tobey Maguire looks like an elf.”
Girl #2: “And Kirsten Dunst — please girl, fix those teeth already.”
Girl #1: “And that guy from Sideways is the villain?”
Girl #2: “Ugh.”
Girl #1: “We’re going Friday.”
Girl #2: “Yeah, us too!”
## ## ##
Guy #1: “They say Spiderman 3 is going to make a bucket of money this weekend.”
Guy #2: “Oh yeah?”
Guy #1: “Yeah. And that 4 out of 5 moviegoers have expressed interest in seeing that movie.”
Guy #2: “Well, what else is opening in theaters?”
Guy #1: “Um, that Drew Barrymore movie where she meets some guy at a casino.”
Guy #2: “And it’s still only 4 out of 5?”
Posted under Drew Barrymore, Kirsten Dunst, Movies, Overheard, Spiderman 3, Tobey Maguire. | 7 Comments »
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