Hola, me llamo es Pablo.
For those who don’t know Spanish, the above phrase translates pretty loosely to mean, “Hello, My Name is Paul.” It was the first phrase I ever learned in Spanish class, the only phrase I can access in a Spanish speaking environment without having to put much thought into it, and above all — it solidifies one very important thing about myself. My name is Paul. That’s 100% for sure. Which is why my blood really begins to boil…
…when someone calls me Pablocito.
I’m going to stun you today with a blatantly hard-lined opinion.
No, it won’t be about politics or war or gas prices or how people make you take off their shoes and put on those little hospital booty things before you walk into their homes and onto their pristine white carpets. No, it won’t be about vegans or manipulating crops with questionable practices or about those people who insist you shake their hand again a second time since their opinion is that the first time you did it…your hand shake sucked.
No, today I’d like to talk about bands. And their names. And when they should be changed.
I’m not a big fan of the name Jon.
Mind you, it has nothing to do with my recent run-ins with Jon Cryer nor does it have anything to do with the fact that when I was a child my grandfather once told me that “people with three letters for a first name, where the first and last letters are consonants and the middle letter is the vowel “o” and the first consonant has the same sound as the letters “ch” or “sh” — they’re criminals or malcontents.”
My grandfather heard voices, too, but who am I to criticize. I mean, the guy was in WW II and spent hours in planes going on missions while shrapnel flew all around him. If he wanted to hate certain three-letter names, that was OK by me.
Misnomensentia effects .00001% of Americans.
As defined by a Dictionary that is unavailable to me at the moment (and so why reference the name of said Dictionary if you can’t go out and confirm this fact for yourself) — Misnomensentia is an individual’s ability to consistently mis-remember and mis-name well-known pop-culture artifacts on such a regular basis that it frustrates all those around them.
There are certain things in this world that people should not forget. These include classic books of literature, huge blockbuster movies, real-true Hollywood stars, names of influential politicians, foods that begin with the letter “B” and much much more. You know these things and I know these things, but those with misnomensentia only think they do.
Super Exciting Candy Day
Look! I’m Really A Sumo Wrestler Day
Flaming Bag o’ Poo Day
Day o’ Free