Reporting Words

Today’s Hollywood Reporter spills the beans on one of my latest previously-secret projects:

Meanwhile, ABC has ordered a script for “The Box,” a one-hour drama focusing on a legal case that takes place over the course of one season. The project follows the 12 jury members, who are faced with deliberating a high-profile murder trial as they uncover truths about the case, their fellow jurors and themselves.

Michael MacLennan, whose credits include Showtime’s “Queer as Folk,” and Paul Davidson, author of such books as the recent “The Lost Blogs,” are writing. Fred Gerber (Fox’s “House”) is attached to direct.

Zadan, Meron, MacLennan and Gerber are executive producing, while Davidson is co-executive producing.

You can see the entire text of the article here.

Today I Will Give Away A Lock Of My Hair

There have been overwhelming requests for a lock of my hair lately.

That is why, for your enjoyment, I will be giving away a lock of my hair to the person with the most impassioned, poetic, humorous and witty comment on this post. If you can communicate in your words the immense joy a lock of my hair will bring you, your family, your neighbors and your post office buddy Hal — you could end up with your own personal hairy keepsake of yours truly, right in your personal mailbox. Then again, you might not want a lock of my hair but you find someone else’s impassioned plea for wanting a lock of my hair to be so inspirational that you might want to let me know that out of the goodness of your heart that you think they should receive part of my hair instead.

Either way, today I will give away a lock of my hair. (via Priority Mail)

I Am Overcompensating For A Lack of Knowledge

Sadly I don’t know a whole hell of a lot.

That’s why I make up words like gestationalism (the act of gestationing), teflonater (when one finds they’ve been ingesting slivers of teflon in their breakfast eggs and doesn’t complain), importantater (the most perfect tater tot on the cookie sheet), singluer (a single person who never leaves your side at a bar), toonstool (an animated stool sitter who rocks nonstop like someone with A.D.D.) and even gooyah (an exclamation phrase like booyah, but as spoken by a messy dresser with gooey food particles dried on their shirt).

Surprisingly, such overcompensation makes me feel extremely smart.

I Am Afraid My Face Isn’t Symmetrical

Symmetry is the new hot.

Look around in the fashion mags or listen to the hosts of nighttime news magazines laud the hotness factor of stars with symmetrical faces. Marvel in wonder as people say things like, “her face is totally symmetrical and she will never have to work for a thing in life because of it…” Stare deer-like and stunnishly at people whose left side of their face and bone structure exactly match the right side of their face in a perfect bit of genetic architecture.

And then be afraid, like me, that your face isn’t symmetrical at all.

This Entire Blog Is A Joke

Today marks WFME’s 3-Year Anniversary.

That’s right. On August 27th, 2003 — yours truly posted his first post ever and the rest was history. And while the site has morphed from its early days of personal stories and anecdotes about my own life into a daily repository for randomness and humor — what most people will find surprising is that the origins of Words For My Enjoyment stemmed out of a situation so surprising, it would cause you to stand up and exclaim something like, “Wow, that’s a situation I find awfully surprising.”

Yes, before long you’ll realize that WFME is just a joke.