The Post In Which I Congratulate Nicole Richie on Her Impending Babyness

I am so damn happy I can’t even contain myself.

That happiness, of course, stems from the recent (and exciting) admission by Nicole Richie that she is officially, one-hundred and ten percent, wholeheartedly, biologically officially, placentastically pregnant! You can imagine when the news hit the wires I quickly forgot about the deaths of Ingmar Bergman and Tom Snyder. This whole war on terror thing? A figment in my imagination. The Battle of Gettysburg? Pffffbt.

That’s why I wanted to officially congratulate Nicole Richie on her impending babyness.

If I Could Play Hide n’ Go Seek With Lionel Richie

Normally, I’m afraid of hide n’ go seek.

But just like I once took the glorious Olympic games and adjusted them to be more fun — well, there’s ways around sucking the fear out of that horrific hiding game and giving it a little bit more to make it sing (no pun intended). And having put thought into it, I’ve decided there’s one way I’d be able to stomach the running, hiding and seeking game.

I’d want to play it with superstar singer Lionel Richie.