Jessica Simpson Walked Past Me

I was at The Farm restaurant at The Grove outdoor shopping area/theme park in Los Angeles yesterday when Jessica Simpson walked right past me.

I was eating my lunch at a table when she and a friend walked past me and settled in at a table at the far end of the restaurant, where Jessica Simpson could be obscured by the rest of the restaurant by a tiny little table wall. But she was behind that wall, drinking and eating just like normal people. She even spoke up and ordered her lunch when the waitress prompted her.

Just like you and me.

There came a point during her meal when Jessica Simpson got up from her obscured table wall area and went to the bathroom. On her way to the bathroom she walked by alternating which foot she thrust forward, then pushed open the women’s bathroom door just like normal human beings like you and me. She was gone for what seemed like an eternity, but which was really only about five minutes and twelve seconds — at which point she sat back down behind the table wall division and resumed her meal (which was obscured by the table wall division).

It was, to say the least, an extremely exciting experience for all.

Today’s Rumors About Celebrities

Living in Hollywood is a unique experience.

Because everyone you know happens to know a celebrity. Everyone who knows a celebrity happens to know something about said celebrity. And everything that everyone knows about those certain celebrities may or may not be entirely true. That’s why they’re called rumors.

And that’s why they’re so amusing to read about.

Jessica Simpson’s Got An Easy Alarm Code

On the heels of revealing the identity of Mr. Six, the anonymous tips keep on coming to Words For My Enjoyment.

This week, anonymous sources connected to alarm company ADT confirm that when Jessica Simpson was asked to provide a hard-to-guess, enigmatic secret alarm code for her palatial Malibu-adjacent newlywed estate (the one she moved into with “just married” hubbie Nick Lachey)…she picked something that no one would have ever imagined: the code word Austin.

A city in Texas, nearby to where she grew up. The exact place in which “Newlyweds” Simpson & Lachey got married on October 26th, 2002. A word that, if re-arranged, spells ‘U Saint’.

Well, I guess it’s better than her last name.