Today’s Imaginary Conversation With Katie Holmes’ Scientology Handler

While WFME’s previous imaginary conversations have been some of the greatest “gets” in the history of modern day journalism, today’s interview is one I’ve been dreaming of getting for years.

There’s been so much controversy over the last few years about Katie Holmes, her marriage to Tom Cruise, “their baby” Suri Cruise and whether or not Katie Holmes is happy about the arrangement. People have speculated about what’s really going on, and people have tried to assume they know what’s going on… But no one truly has gotten the real answer…until today.

Because today’s conversation is with Katie Holmes’ actual Scientology handler!

Today’s Imaginary Conversation With Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

While WFME is completely unpolitical, we couldn’t turn down five minutes with Iran’s man of the moment.

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, both complicated on his own and in the spelling of his name, has gained great press since the United States went to war in the Middle East, and is known for his hard-lined and opinionated thoughts on a variety of subjects including Israel, the United States, nuclear weapons and much much more.

Well today, thanks to WFME being granted this imaginary interview, we peel back the layers and find out even more about the man.

WFME: “Good day, Mr. Ahmadinejad.”

Ahmadinejad: “Yes, thank you.”

Today’s Imaginary Conversation With The Rolled Up Pashmina Currently Pretending To Be Tom Cruise’s Baby Suri

This week has been a banner week at WFME.

First we were leaked sensitive information about Mel Gibson’s tirade… And now one of the biggest questions in the world of Hollywood is finally going to be answered. Just where oh where is the Cruise/Holmes’ baby Suri? Where has she been? Why has no one seen anything but a lump in a blanket?

Well, today we give you our interview with the rolled up pashmina currently pretending to be Tom Cruise’s baby, Suri.

Words For Your Enjoyment: Talking with TomKitten

Thank you for joining us yet again for “Words For Your Enjoyment.”

This week, WFME pal Sarcomical asks, “How about you submit to the lowest denominator and give us your version of what you imagine the brand new TomKitten’s 18th birthday celebration will be like?”

How about I do you one better, good old friend S-Mical, and talk to TomKitten now? The baby offspring of Tom Cruise at Katie Holmes has just come into this world after nine months and probably has lots to say on a variety of subjects, don’t you think?

Today’s Imaginary Conversation With James Frey

You may or may not have heard about this James Frey business.

The author of the memoir A Little Million Pieces (which was chosen by Orpah for her Book Club), he’s sold over 3.5 million books since Harpo spoke up for him. But the Smoking Gun reports that his “memoir” is riddled with lies — sparking a huge drama that continues to unfold. Even his publisher (and mine), Random House, is now offering refunds to pissed off readers.

Fortunately, I was able to snag an interview with Mr. Frey yesterday evening (I think it was the Random House connection), and so I’d like to present that to you here today…