The Gremlins Diet
October 12th, 2004
1. Don’t look at or shine yourself with bright lights.
2. Never get yourself wet.
3. And whatever you do, never, ever feed yourself after midnight.
It’s a diet whose time has come.
With all the cockamamie diet drinks, pills, machines, patches, hypnosis tapes and what not that fill the pages of health and fitness mags, televisions late at night and the general consciousness of America, don’t you think it’s time for the diet that I once had called, “The diet to end all diets simply because it was so on the cusp of being the most groundbreaking diet ever?”
Sure it was wordy. But I was giddy with excitement when I had come up with the idea and didn’t have time to be grammatically correct.
