Today’s Thoughts About Liver

I don’t know anyone who likes eating liver.

When I was a kid, my parents often threatened me with liver & onions if I didn’t eat my salad. Thing is, my salad was often drowned in Thousand Island Dressing, which is like ketchup and ranch dressing mixed together, which makes eating huge pieces of iceberg lettuce really hard. So you can imagine, being faced with finishing drenched salad or eating liver & onions and you can imagine where the fear came from.

That’s why liver has never been my bedfellow.

Today’s Conspiracy About Almonds

Look at a can of Blue Diamond almonds and you’ll be happy to know there’s six full servings of “approximately” 28 almonds in each can.

I’ve been stoked about this fact for weeks, as I’ve been eating through can after can, while finishing off a movie I’ve been writing (thus the reason for my long term absence). Still, the more I ate the more I wondered, just how close said almond contents were to the words being printed on the label. I started eating and started counting and then became extremely surprised at my findings.

The findings that prove to me that there’s a true conspiracy going on with the almonds.

I Am Afraid of Non-Brand Name Sorbets

Do you like sorbet?

Do you enjoy the shivering, ice-like feeling it creates on your tongue as you shove a spoon ‘o the stuff into your mouth? Do you enjoy knowing that you’re eating the purest of pure…the most natural frozen taste experience that there is in this world next to frozen grapes? Does it help you go to sleep at night knowing that even if you ate an entire pint of the dang stuff that you won’t wake up with acid reflux since all it contained was fruit, ice and some chemicals…as opposed to huge swirls of caramel sauce?

Do you know that you should be afraid of non-brand name sorbets?

I’ve Decided I Really Don’t Like Good n’ Plenty

Everytime I go to the movies, I get Good n’ Plenty.

People look at me like I’m crazy, because who goes to the movies and picks a box of purple and white-colored covered black licorice pieces over M&Ms and ice cream bites and popcorn and so on and so on and so on? Who goes to a supermarket and just walks out with a red onion? Who loses a limb in a tragic car accident and goes to the limb-replacement store and chooses a wet piece of steak for a left arm instead of a hi-tech gleaming metal claw?

This thought process made me decide that I really don’t like Good n’ Plenty after all.