WFME’s You Decide: 2 Tacos for $.99 or 99 Tacos for $.02?

Welcome, once again, to yet another edition of WFME’s You Decide. That’s where you decide between two choices, on your own, without any tampering from yours truly whatsoever.

This week, You Decide pulls back the film on the underbelly of what some people like to call El Socieded de Tacos (or, in English, The World In Which Tacos Reign Supreme) — which is not to be confused with a Supreme Burrito or Nacho Bell Grande Supreme. We’re talkin’ tacos today, people, so roll up those sleeves and get ready to decide.

2 Tacos for $.99? Or 99 Tacos for $.02?

I Am The King Of Asking For A Water Glass Then Sneaking Free Soda

“Just a glass for water, please.”

It is a phrase so simple in it’s simpleton-like simplicity that no cash register clerk ever reads into it. It is a phrase that I throw out so innocently, that my conservative nature never causes anyone to question my intentions. It is a phrase that I utter with such convincing “I’m doing this all-water diet right now” attitude that the powers that be (i.e. restaurant managers) never see me coming, and never realize when I’m gone.

Yes, I’m the King of asking for a water glass then sneaking free soda.

Transcription Thursday: The “Diet” Shopping List

I found the following crumpled up list outside my local supermarket yesterday:

Healthy Eating Plan 2007
Good fruits (apples, oranges, grapes)
Green vegetables (pre-made salad, cucumbers, onions)
Yogurt (one for each day, not to exceed 8 a week)
Wheat bread (or seven grain)
Water (2.5 gallon jug, 8 glasses a day)
Sorbet (low sugar, sweet treat)
Corn dogs (fulfills protein quotient)
Roast beef (from deli, not pre-packaged)
Vanilla wafers (in moderation, see label for serving size)
Dark chocolate (square a day, good for the blood)
Kettle corn (no sugar alternative snack)
Canned sweet potatoes
Canned fruit
Diet Coke
Grape Nuts

Today We Will Retire Yet Another Fruit That Is So Obviously Only Enjoyed By Old People

Welcome to the premiere edition of WFME’s Fruit Retirement 2007!

That’s where we take a look at the fruit landscape (or frandscape as we have dubbed it) and retire a fruit that we feel is only enjoyed by old people (i.e. prunes and prune juice) and thus is never consumed by the younger set of society, and therefore must be retired, removed and completely eradicated from the landscuit (our other way of dubbing the fruit landscape in clever word rearrangement).

Today, that fruit is the grapefruit.

I Could Be Your Cream Cheese Concierge

There’s cream cheese and then there’s cream cheese.

Ask most people who are currently toasting up an onion bagel what they want on their onion bagel and nine times out of then they’re going to tell you “cream cheese.” No, they won’t suggest what kind, what fat-content type, what consistency, what brand, or even what flavor. They’ll just assume that any cream cheese is fine for a toasted onion bagel, which happens to be the most short-sighted cream cheese decision making process ever.

But if I was your cream cheese concierge? We’d fix that all up.