I’m one of those guys who likes to imagine the after.
For those not familiar with the after — it’s those moments from pop culture gems (like John Hughes’ The Breakfast Club) that we never actually got to see but like to imagine how they went. You know, the day after Ferris Bueller took his day off. The arguments that Maverick and his hot flight instructor Charlie (Kelly McGillis) had when Maverick left the toilet seat up…
And the night after The Breakfast Club, when Principal Richard Vernon (Paul Gleason) went home to talk about just what went on that day with his wife.
From Star Wars IV: A New Hope
“Luke, trust the horse.”
From The Breakfast Club
“If Andrew gets up, we’ll all get up, it’ll be fish guts!”
From Top Gun
“I feel the need for fast velocity movement happy go now!”
From The Godfather
“I’ll make him an offer he can’t garbage.”
From Citizen Kane
“Unopened flower of a rose! Unopened flower of a rose!”
From Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure
“Something strange is twelve inches nearby the oval consonant!”
From Fight Club
“First rule of Fight Club — you don’t talk about Fight Club. Second rule of Fight Club — trickling water invigorates the senses!”
From The Sixth Sense
“I meet to the people who die, faster faster!”
From The Graduate
“Mrs. Robinson, I’m afraid of sudoku!”
From The Lord of the Rings
“The phone’s ring will rule us all… Who’s calling, please?”
Some people say that Pretty Woman is a classic.
Ask a table of your friends at dinner which of them likes the movie and the majority of the table will go on and on about how great of a movie it actually is. Ask anyone if they like Julia Roberts and they’ll bring the movie up before any other. Ask anyone about Richard Gere, and it’s the only movie they’re sure he was in.
But posit this, my friends — what would happen if we switched up Pretty Woman by replacing Julia Roberts with a CGI-Animated penguin? Hmm? What then?
You may or may not have heard about this yet.
But the Cliff Notes’ version is that Mel Gibson was arrested for driving almost double the speed limit over the weekend in Malibu, CA while intoxicated — and while being carted away for his DWI, he decided it would be the perfect time to try and escape, start hurling anti-semetic comments at officers and even say sexually-explicit comments to female officers at the police station. Above all, not the smartest thing for a Hollywood actor skating on the thin-ice of the star-system.
But there’s more to the story that even the papers have yet to report (which was leaked to me late last night from a close friend who lives in Malibu) which has convinced me that the massive Mel Gibson cover-up continues…