If I Could Transplant Dead Elvis’ Head Onto My Body And Still Be A Contributing Member of Society

If I could transplant dead Elvis’ head onto my body and still be a contributing member of society…well, I think a lot of people who weren’t fans of Elvis would still be pretty damn impressed with my abilities.

See, there would of course be a slew of Elvis fans who would come from miles around just to meet me, if not simply because they’d finally be able to put to rest that old “I wonder what Elvis would look like if he was alive today” debate. Of course, technically, they’d be looking at a dead Elvis head (which looks pretty old and unkempt) but they’d be looking at a well-toned body with bulging muscles from the neck down, and that would at least convince people that although Elvis might have been bloated before…he’d be looking pretty damn fit in the present.

That being said, it’s the non-Elvis fans who would be even more impressed because they’d come to the table with zero Elvis baggage. They’d show up to meet the contributing member of society with the dead head on his shoulders. They’d probably try to have conversations with me and my dead Elvis head, and due to the fact that I would be a contributing member of society — I would obviously have conversations with all of them.

Because you can’t be a contributing member of society if you don’t communicate with society itself. Duh.

And although science and medical technology has not yet reached the point where they allow someone like me to transplant dead Elvis’ head onto my body, just knowing that if it was possible…that I would be a contributing member of society even with the dead crusty head bobbling around on my shoulders…

Well, that makes me feel good about people in general and their ability to accept others, no matter the ailment, disease or dead skull atop their shoulders.

So yeah. I’m feeling good.