The Comedy Schoolings of Mike Myers

As someone based and working in Hollywood, I run into a lot of celebrities.

As someone working in Hollywood, I try my best not to talk about celebrities I run into or work with simply based on the fact that they’re people just like you and me. In fact, I’ve known many a celebrity to not wash their hands after going to the bathroom (just like you!) or steal a free bite from the pile ‘o apples at the local supermarket…just like you! But sometimes…an event occurs that I cannot keep quiet about.

This time…that event is my attending The Mike Myers Comedy School.

If I Was An Evil High School Guidance Counselor

“Collecting garbage is a noble career,” I might say.

And then while I leaned down behind my desk (where I’d purposely dropped a pen and a handful of paperclips just so I could hide my face for a moment) I would smile a smile so wide it would keep me satiated far better than food ever would. It would make me giddy and happy and I would be laughing a laugh so laughable inside that my lower intestines would grow muscles from the constant exercise.

Yes, being an evil high school guidance counselor would be extremely rewarding.

Words For Your Enjoyment: Attention Whores

Aaah, Friday.

Is it strange that after so many Fridays over the course of our lives, this Friday is just as exciting as all the rest? Is it weird that while every other single item in our lives that repeats over and over again (another cookie, a birthday, lunchtime, the dentist, et al) gets old and boring and before long we can’t bear to experience it any longer — Friday continues to be just as exciting every single time?

It’s sort of like “Words For Your Enjoyment” — fresh, exciting, filled with 94% of all those extra vitamins and minerals you look for in starting off your weekend… And this week, is of course, no different.

Today’s Prognosis on Ivy League Goodness

Who says you gotta go to an Ivy League school to be considered smart? Who says you gotta go to Harvard to get the life you want?

I was there yesterday. I even have a Harvard hat. And if I go around Los Angeles wearing my Harvard hat and I say things like “well, it’s inconceivable!” or “political discussions simply make me long for the silence of the Charles river!” or “conundrums inspire my brain to evolve” well, you’ll probably think I went to Harvard.

Who says you gotta have a Harvard degree (on paper) in order to get a job?