WFME’s New Year Fear: Movie Theater Headrest Lice

It’s only January 7th and here comes a new fear.

Someone just told me that if you rest your head on a movie theater headrest and rub it around that you could potentially get some kind of obscure headrest lice that will eventually cause all your hair to fall out. It’s sort of like a tapeworm in your intestines, except this one is on your head. And you get it by going to the movies.

Thanks, Hollywood. Thanks a lot.

Now this means that I have to always wear a hat to the movies, which will not only make my head itchy but it will also cause me to have to take off my hat at regular intervals in the movies so I can scratch my head, which will allow people to see my messed up hair in the middle of a movie. Even worse, since I go to the same movie theater all the time, now they’re going to always see me wearing a hat and they’re going to start talking behind my back about how I’m probably one of those no-shower movie goers. You know, the kinds who never shower and just show up with a hat to see flicks.

It’s not worse than the head lice thing, but it comes pretty damn close.