Excerpts From My New Book, ‘How To Get Someone To Drop A Gun’

You didn’t think I would just let The Lost Blogs get released and not have a third one ready to go, did you?

That’s why I wanted to take today’s post to give everyone a sneak peek at my third book, How To Get Someone To Drop A Gun, which will be going out to publishers within the next month. It’s like those really popular How-To books, but this one doesn’t tell YOU how to do something, it gives you the skills to get other people to do things for you.

Most specifically, how to get someone who is holding a gun to put it down.

If I Was Going To Break Out of Prison

If I was going to break out of prison, I would have to be there in the first place.

How I got there would obviously involve a story I wouldn’t like to tell often because it would have involved a shotgun loaded with blanks, twelve Capri-Sun drink pouches, a rotten zucchini, three musical dwarfs, a local bank and a family size bucket of Popeye’s chicken — and would you believe I was totally innocent despite what the jury decided?

Guilty, they had said — then deposited me into a jail where I would now be. And due to my milky-white, smooth-skinned coconut-smelling self being behind bars… I would have to get outta there as quickly as I possibly could.

Paul & Order

The other potential titles for this entry included (but were not limited to): N.Y.P.auly.D., L.A.P.auly.D., and P.D. Hooker.

The funny play-on-words and the awesome photoshopping abilities are nothing compared to a hit and run accident, a chase through the city streets of Los Angeles, the escape of an oblivious suspect out of her mind on Meth, and the chase on foot that followed… They are nothing compared to the savior that lives inside of yours truly.

Hero, for a day.