Letters to eBay, Letters to You

As promised, today WFME will be giving away three (3) free copies of Paul Meadors’ new book Letters to eBay.

But how, you wonder, can you win one?

Present a link in the comments section to what you consider to be the most obscure, most amusing eBay auction currently “live” on eBay (i.e., people can still bid on it at the publishing of this post) before 5pm PST and you’ll have entered yourself in for the contest. Each person is only allowed one (1) submission, and I will award the books to the Top 3 most amusing eBay auctions.

We’re talking funny, people. Show me the funny.

In the event two people submit the same auction, the person who posted their comment first will get priority. In addition, if you have put up the auction yourself, it is invalid. Finally, if you have ever watched Big Brother After Dark on Showtime, please make a note of it in the comments section, as you will be added to WFME’s list for another upcoming contest that will be announced very soon.

Good luck and G-d speed!

Update! The winners of the books are Mike Lietz, Jerry and Monkeyinabox. Congratulations!

Giving Away The Letters

Usually, if I’m giving something away, it has to do with me.

That’s why next Monday I’ll be doing something quite selfless for my new friend Paul Meadors, the author of the upcoming book Letters to eBay: Hilarious Auctions, Crazy E-Mails, and Bongos for Grandma by hosting some kind of ridiculous contest to give away three (3) of his books.

The contest will officially go live Monday morning at 9am PST. First come first serve. If you or a member of your family own eBay, you may not compete. If you’re currently writing a book of letters to eBay, you may not compete. If you have ever gone out, purchased and eaten Slim Jims after seeing a commercial for them, you may still compete but I will judge you.

One Million Served!

It’s official.

Sometime in the middle of the night WFME stepped over a line in the sand. Over the boundary between a country called “Nine Hundred Ninety Nine Thousand-vakia” and “One Million-esbeckistan.” Sometime while you were sleeping and while I was laying awake in bed obsessing over the fact that I think I may have extra bones in my feet that normal humans do not — you…the unique visitor, made history here at WFME as we clocked in over 1,000,000 unique visitors.

And now — those who were brave enough to enter the Blogstakes as I so appropriately called it, may now step up to receive your prizes.

Approaching A Million

Sometime over the next few days, WFME will have clocked 1 million unique visitors to the site.

That means that since September ’05 (when the site was officially switched over to a new domain and the unique visitor clock was reset) there will have been over 1 million people who have come here, read something, chuckled (or not) and left with their life changed completely for the better (or worse). But in all seriousness, having over 1 million people read Words For My Enjoyment is exciting, amazing and humbling all together at once.

And that’s why we’ll be giving away some amazing* prize packages this week in celebration of such glorious news!

So here’s what we’re going to be doing. As of the posting of this entry, WFME is at 995,005 unique visitors. How soon the site will hit 1 million is anyone’s guess. Readers who call the WFME hotline (located in the sidebar of the site) and leave a message about how WFME has affected their life (bad, good, or indifferent — points will not be deducted for pure unadulterated hatred) before the one million mark hits will be entered into the blogstakes and have their chances at one of four (4) identical prize packages, each of which will include:

  • A signed copy of my first book, Consumer Joe
  • A first-edition signed copy of my new book, The Lost Blogs
  • A $25 dollar gift card to Amazon.com
  • Lint, from one pair of my jeans
  • Your name, hotline message and picture highlighted in the online Winner’s Circle post

For some, the prizes will represent the ultimate. For others, it’ll just represent some paper, lint, and a materialistic bribe. Decide which person you are and choose wisely…

…for the million mark is rapidly approaching!

(Note from the Editor: When leaving a message on the hotline, after you finish be sure to leave your name and e-mail address so WFME can contact you!)

*”Amazing” is relative.

Words For Her Enjoyment: Janet Returns

In early August, WFME reader Janet was evicted from the blog by her fellow commenters.

It was a stunning turn of events that proved that when you’re nice, you shy away from conflict and you generally make non-political comments…your evil fellow commenters will want to see you go.  Just for the hell of it.  And really, doesn’t that just give you huge faith in the human race as a whole?

I know it does for me.

So, without further adieu, I would like to welcome Janet back in the fold today — September 1st, 2006.  Janet participated in a one-on-one “return interview” and I’ll be posting her words later today.  In the meantime, prepare yourselves for the next surprising WFME stunt in which all commenters will be given the opportunity to nominate one of their fellow WFME readers and then the person with the most votes will be kidnapped, locked in a box without any clothes on, and shipped off to a third world country without their passport, a la The Game.

It’s going to be an amazing September, that’s for sure!

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