Why Running Sucks

Anyone who turns a fear-based, survival instinct into a professional Olympic event needs their head examined.

Take running for example. Something whose origins come from attempting to escape a potentially harmful or scary “thing” (thing being a dinosaur, person with a sharp rock or firearm, or a natural disaster). Sure, running has been around since the dawn of time, but since when does that need to be turned into a sport?

Commence why running sucks…now.

I Am Starting My Own Religion

I figure, if L. Ron Hubbard can do it, so can I.

Sure, most mainstream religions are rooted in moments that happened thousands of years ago. But if a science fiction writer who was born in the last century can take a book that he’s written and turn it into an oft-publicized religion and get famous people like John Travolta and Jenna Elfman and Tom Cruise to join it… Then my own religion can succeed just as well.

I’ll call it Consumerjology.