June 1st, 2007
As a child, I didn’t have imaginary friends.
My other friends did. But their imaginary friends left something to be desired. Most of them had little personality, cutesy names that they can’t even utter these days because they’re so cute, and (much like a robot dog) a limited list of things they could do. I.e., they could sit at a table and participate in a tea party, or pretend to be hungry at the dinner table and hang out in your desk at school, but that was about it.
That’s why I’d like to officially present to you a list of five imaginary friends I wish I had as a kid.
Posted under Childhood, Imaginary Friends, Lists of Five. | No Comments »
February 12th, 2007
adultoids: noun, consisting of childhood activities that can no longer be participated in after the onset of adulthood, for fear of being considered a freak.
- Doorbell Ditch
- Spending Hours in Couch Forts
- Pretending to be a Wizard in Public, And Having People Take You Seriously
- Having Someone Else Carry You To Bed
- Wearing Cartoon Character Underwear
- Eating Paste
- Using The Imaginary Line of Demarcation To Keep People From Encroaching Upon Your Space In The Backseat of the Car
- Two words: juice boxes
- Playdates That Someone Else Arranges For Me (i.e., dates, transport, snacks)
- Tormenting Old People
Posted under Adulthood, Childhood, The Adultoids. | 11 Comments »
