If I Had Actually Been That Kid Eric Stoltz Played In “Mask”

This may be before your time, but I don’t care.

You may or may not have also seen the classic 80’s flick MASK starring Eric Stoltz as Rocky Dennis, a kid born with a really horrible facial deformation whose mother (played by Cher) is a biker-chick who is doing her best to raise a kid who is obviously a social outcast due to his horrific looking face. The story itself is inspirational and heart-warming (Rocky eventually falls for a blind girl at a summer camp played by Laura Dern, who falls for who he is and not what he looks like), and has a moral that goes a little something like, “It’s who you are on the inside that matters, and not how you look.”

But had I actually been that kid in MASK things would have played out a little bit differently.