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September 18th, 2007
Most people want to know what the secret of Life cereal is.
Walk down the street of your local neighborhood or in and around coffee shops, parks and supermarkets…and listen closely to the conversations people are having. There’s talk of war, peace, relationships, the soul, G-d and so much more — but every conversation is surrounded and wrapped in the cloth of a question we all ask ourselves late at night, when everything is silent…and dark. People everywhere want to know what the secret of Life cereal is.
And today…I’m here to shed light on just that question.
Posted under Breakfast, Cereal, Life, Secret of Life. | 11 Comments »
November 4th, 2006
Lights up.
A husband and wife sit across from each other at a table — the husband stares at the side of a box of cereal.
Husband: “Since when is three-quarters of a cup a serving of cereal?”
Wife: “Since forever, dear. That’s why the country is so obese — they don’t eat just a serving of cereal, they eat four servings of cereal.”
Husband: “So then they should make four servings of cereal one serving of cereal then I could just eat one serving of cereal but get more cereal per serving than ever before.”
Wife: “No human needs that much cereal.”
Husband: “I do! I’m no bird or French person for that matter, chewing twenty times and tasting tiny morsels in my mouth. I’m a man. When I’m done eating a bowl of cereal I want the inside edges of my stomach lining to be hurting from the pressure of soggy cereal and chocolate-flavored milk.”
Wife: “That’s exactly why a serving of cereal is three-quarters of a cup.”
Husband: “I’m going to write a letter.”
Wife: “Knock yourself out.”
Lights out.
Posted under Cereal, Excerpts, Food and Drink. | 13 Comments »
August 9th, 2006
I like the look of a comma in a blog subject line.
But more than that, I imagine I’d really like the look of a box of Lucky Charms without any of the “lucky” — which happens to refer to the boring carb-infused cereal pieces poured in and among the glorious marshmallow multi-colored “charms” in a box of the sugary delicacy. In fact, an entire box of “Just Plain ‘ol Charms” as the word-meisters might dub the new cereal concoction, might be more lucky than they think.
See, cereal would be so much better without all that crap thrown inside.
Posted under Cereal, Food and Drink. | 32 Comments »
