I Am Writing This Post From Inside A Locked Chest Inside The Basement of Some Guy I Just Met At My Local Best Buy

Him: “Looking for a wireless router?”
Me: “Yeah. I am. Trying to extend my WiFi network at home.”
Him: “I’ve got a network at home that covers an entire square mile. I even get a signal in my basement.”
Me: “Oh wow. That’s gotta be awesome.”
Him: “Yeah, with transfer rates at up to 10,000 megabits per second.”
Me: “How fast is that?”
Him: “A minute video clip in five seconds.”
Me: “Woooooow.”
Him: “My property’s just up the street a bit. You could come try it out if you want.”
Me: “It wouldn’t be an imposition?”
Him: “Nah. Not at all. C’mon!”
Me: “Sweet!”