Today’s Brief Question About Why People Don’t Think I Can Pull Off The ‘Bat Thing’

I have a bat, okay?

No, not the animal that hangs upside down in a cave and screeches when you shine a light in its eyes. No, it’s a metal bat and I keep it hidden somewhere in my home so that when someone crosses the boundary that they’re not supposed to cross, I will take said referenced bat and beat the living crap out of them. And yet, no one thinks I can pull off “the bat thing.”


Why do people believe I have a tazer gun but they don’t believe I have a bat? Why do people believe I have throwing stars, but not a bat? I could easily be the guy with the bat. I even played Little League when I was a kid. I know how to use a bat, people. Give me a bat and a tense situation and I will “swing away” so well, that if I had to bash the head in of an alien creature in my living room — I would.

So why don’t people think I can pull off the “bat thing?”

I have great eye/hand coordination. I have broad shoulders. My arms are long enough to provide me with a great swinging arc, and combine that with my biceps and you’ve got a man who can totally pull off the “bat thing.”

I can.

So why do they think I can’t?

Today’s post is dedicated to midget children with Trisomy 21, a horrible chromosomal birth defect that one of my commenters sought fit to make fun of. I only hope we can someday find a cure for both the disease and insensitive commenters such as Logan X.