Latest Internet Rumors About Barack Obama (That May Make Me Question Voting For Him)

  • He’s seen Canonball Run more than ten times.
  • He likes asparagus.
  • Having grown up in Hawaii, he still isn’t a huge fan of macadamia nuts.
  • His wife chose the party favors at their wedding; he didn’t play a part in that decision at all.
  • He doesn’t know about the movie Tron (and yet he’s seen Canonball Run more than ten times.
  • CB Call Sign: Skeeter
  • Never thought those SoniCare Toothbrushes were worth it.
  • Found Sting’s ‘Dream of the Blue Turtles’ to be a “silly title.”
  • Uses Yahoo for Internet searches
  • Thinks more African-Americans like Kevin Clash (the voice of Elmo) should give back to the puppeteering community and help more African-Americans create fuzzy monsters for PBS.

Steve Jobs Is Skinny (And Other Headlines For Upcoming Wall Street Journal Articles)

Did you know that Steve Jobs looked skinny at yesterday’s Apple Developer’s Conference? It was where they unveiled the new iPhone.

But the Wall Street Journal online wanted the world to know that Steve Jobs is skinny.

So here’s a list of future headlines for the Wall Street Journal online so they can keep with the trend of particularly obvious and insignificant news headlines, while instilling the confidence in their readership that no matter what happens in the world (no matter how small), they will be there to shine a light on what’s happening:

  • Disney’s Wall-E: Movie About Robot Not Real Life
  • Gas Prices Rise, Consumers Pay More
  • Barack Obama is Black, McCain White
  • U.S. Dollar Not Worth a Dollar
  • Dream of the Blue Turtles Not Sting’s Most Well Received CD
  • Bird Flu, Not Flu At All
  • Larry King Wears Big Glasses, Eyesight Not 20/20
  • 4 out of 5 Dentists Prefer Crest