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April 30th, 2006
A transparent tank of water in which fish and other water creatures and plants are kept.
Just the sound of that explanation of what an aquarium is pretty much puts you to sleep, doesn’t it? A transparent tank of water? Yeah, not too sexy. In which fish and other water creatures and plants are kept? Woo hoo. Can’t you just feel the excitement bubbling up inside of you? Don’t you feel your feet starting to tap away in an eclectic rhythm of happy thoughts? Isn’t it just too much passion to handle for just one day?
Yeah. No.
Continuing words »
Posted under Animals, Aquariums, Fish, That Money Sucking Hobby Of Yours. | 17 Comments »
December 29th, 2005
There’s a reason why America is falling behind the rest of the world.
There’s a reason why the children of the United States are often less educated, more oblivious, extremely stupid, fantastically fantasy-driven, unrealistic, unmotivated and completely uninterested in bettering themselves for the betterment of a better country, better-or-not.
And it can all be traced to balloon animals.
Go to a birthday party in America and tell me what you see. Children, wide-eyed, staring vacantly at clowns and other silly adult-like figures turning their faces red (and potentially giving themselves hernias) as they try to blow air into a long, narrow piece of rubber. Gazing, almost trance-like, as stupid adults twist and turn the rods of colorful death (as I like to call them) into a limited list of six very uninspiring, uncreative, unmotivational objects that include (and ARE limited to):
Posted under Animals, Clowns, Prognosis, Toys. | 27 Comments »
December 5th, 2005
Garden State and Scrubs‘ actor Zach Braff shops at PETCO just like you!
Would you believe that he walks down the aisles like normal people, peruses the sides of dog food bags with interest like your best-friend’s mother, and actually waits in line to pay like the rest of us normal Americans?
Would you believe that he goes out on a Sunday to do such shopping and looks just as haggard as the rest of us?
Yes. It’s totally one-hundred percent true!
It’s been a big celebrity sighting weekend here in Los Angeles — but it’s not as if I’ve been hanging around hot spots or anything like that. I’ve been going about my normal business to the movies and the supermarket and the pet supply store and at each and every turn the celebrities come out of the woodwork.
Posted under Animals, Celebrities, Shopping, Zach Braff. | 22 Comments »
November 18th, 2005
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times.
If all of us could get together and sign a petition that said that we’d all be willing to work two extra hours each weekday in order to lock in an official three-day weekend (since we’d be working Friday’s hours split up over Monday through Thursday), we’d still complain on Thursday that it’d been a tough week. So stop complaining. It’s fine the way it is.
And what’s also “fine the way it is” is WFME’s wonderful “Words For Your Enjoyment” which continues to benefit from your suggestions. This week, good WFME pal Andrea writes: “If we could translate what the average pet was “saying,” what would we discover about them?”
Posted under Animals, WFME Abroad, WFYE. | 18 Comments »
August 1st, 2005
Don’t even say it — I am well aware that this whole celebrity/animal thing is infesting Los Angeles.
But how could I keep myself from describing the situation that I witnessed yesterday afternoon at the Valley’s new chain-restaurant hot spot, Le Pain Quotidien? (French!? We must go there because they say it is French food!)
There I was, sitting in a restaurant on the boulevard and trying to eat a wonderful brunch meal when I noticed that sitting at the tables right outside the window was our good Dawson’s Creek friend, James Van Der Beek with his “I don’t like to wear make-up on the weekends and look like a crack whore” wife, Heather McComb.
Posted under Animals, Body Parts, Celebrities, Prognosis. | 17 Comments »
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