An Open Letter To You, Bottle-Opener Keychain Guy
January 17th, 2007
Look. It’s time to face facts.
You have a bottle opener keychain, my friend — and that means one very important thing. No, it doesn’t mean that you’re always on the ready when it comes to opening bottles. No, it doesn’t mean you’re the life of the party. No, it doesn’t mean you’re like “the MacGuyver of spirits” or that you are the “hostess with the mostest.” It doesn’t mean you’re clever, resourceful or extremely savvy.
It means you’re an alcoholic.
