Job Titles No One Will Ever Have As Long As I’m Not The President of Their Company

  • Super Dooper Director
  • Mega Manager
  • Executive Dreamer
  • Lead Typist In An Office
  • Coordinator of Copy Management
  • Culinary Cooler Coordinator
  • Morale Manager
  • Director of Global Gossip
  • Group Travel Manager, Happy Hour
  • Senior Vice President, Other People’s Personal Business

8 comments on “Job Titles No One Will Ever Have As Long As I’m Not The President of Their Company

  1. monkeyinabox - November 2, 2009 at 2:05 pm -

    Woooah! Pauly D is back! Rock on, bring it like MR T coming for the fool who stole his cereal!

  2. Pauly D - November 2, 2009 at 11:27 pm -

    I try. (Not really.)

  3. Janet - November 5, 2009 at 1:10 pm -

    No “Manager (Who is A Douchbag) Apologist” on that list?

    But… every company needs one of those too!

  4. Flower Girl - November 5, 2009 at 1:57 pm -

    Where in the heck have you been?! I guess you’re right…that is none of my business… Just glad you’re back!

    “Grumpy Bitch Slapper” A must. Really. Everyone would love you for it. Just imagine being in a meeting the next time Captain Crankypants makes one of his snide comments…you reach for the conference phone, place a call to the GBS, and moments later, the GBS appears (wearing an oversized, artificial hand, of course) to slap the offender across the face…

  5. Pauly D - November 5, 2009 at 8:37 pm -

    Is there a Gumpy Bitch Slapper in your office?

  6. Jerry - November 6, 2009 at 8:28 am -

    Special Events Apparel Coordinator
    Pre-Holiday Trundicated Workday Facilitator

    Because every office needs someone to organize Hawiian Shirt Friday AND to push for those half days before a holiday.

  7. Jacqueline - November 13, 2009 at 1:54 pm -

    well well… would you believe I’ve kinda forgotten about blogging. I guess you haven’t! Thank goodness. I’ll have to remember to come back here. I do miss the daily laughs.

  8. Flower Girl - November 18, 2009 at 10:24 am -

    Paul, I am the Head GBS in my office. I love it and never thought I’d get such a spiritually fulfilling job. I guess I really didn’t need to go to college for this, though…I’m a natural Grumpy Bitch Slapper! I was born to slap ’em.

    Come back soon…

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