I Am Officially Banning Things

Today I would like to officially ban a list of things that must be removed from the world immediately. They include:

  • Olives stuffed with feta cheese
  • Bumper stickers that brag about your children’s insignificant accolades
  • Any and all Leapfrog sub-par children’s electronic products
  • Pomegranates
  • Ships in glass bottles
  • Centimeters…as a measurement. (Who needs ‘em!?)
  • VHS copies of the 80′s film My Tutor
  • Corey Feldman

Thank you for your time.

10 comments on “I Am Officially Banning Things

  1. Stacey - March 29, 2009 at 6:24 am -

    I can get on board with that.

  2. Jerry - March 30, 2009 at 12:48 pm -

    I thought Feldman was already banned or was that just an Executive Order from Clinton?

  3. Cathy - April 2, 2009 at 8:45 pm -

    I mus respectfully disagree on the olives.

    Also, are you banning only the Leapfrog products that are sub-par, or are you using that as a modifier, e.g. ALL Leapfrog products are sub-par?

  4. Susan - April 5, 2009 at 5:08 am -

    I know, right? No, I’m not agreeing with you, I’m suggesting you put “I know, right?” on the banned list.

  5. Fabian Marquez - April 9, 2009 at 2:46 pm -

    I had a Pomegranate tree in my backyard as a kid. They’re the hardest things to eat in the world! And they squirt red juice on your clothes and get your mom mad at you. Screw Pomegranates man! Who needs ‘em? I don’t.

  6. Dean - May 7, 2009 at 2:11 am -

    You know, I haven’t visited this blog in. like,…two years, but the last time I was here you were talking about…pomegranates.

    And oh, I must say, I learned a lot from “My Tutor.” Just so you know, by banning VHS copies of that film you have cut the heart out of my adolescence, so thanks.

  7. dgm - June 21, 2009 at 6:32 pm -

    I’m all on board with the bumper stickers, except for the ones that say “My son can beat the crap out of your honor student.” Those can stay.

  8. Erik - July 12, 2009 at 2:47 pm -

    Very much in agreement over the last one. He should’ve been banned 10-15 years ago.

  9. dgm - August 7, 2009 at 11:07 am -

    Paul, are you banning blogging from your life?

    (BTW, I see that you are FB friends with my friend Lynette. I knew her first!)

  10. groovebunny - September 4, 2009 at 7:07 pm -

    …but I like olives stuffed with feta cheese…

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