I Am Officially Banning Things

Today I would like to officially ban a list of things that must be removed from the world immediately. They include:

  • Olives stuffed with feta cheese
  • Bumper stickers that brag about your children’s insignificant accolades
  • Any and all Leapfrog sub-par children’s electronic products
  • Pomegranates
  • Ships in glass bottles
  • Centimeters…as a measurement. (Who needs ‘em!?)
  • VHS copies of the 80’s film My Tutor
  • Corey Feldman

Thank you for your time.

10 thoughts on “I Am Officially Banning Things”

  1. I mus respectfully disagree on the olives.

    Also, are you banning only the Leapfrog products that are sub-par, or are you using that as a modifier, e.g. ALL Leapfrog products are sub-par?

  2. I know, right? No, I’m not agreeing with you, I’m suggesting you put “I know, right?” on the banned list.

  3. I had a Pomegranate tree in my backyard as a kid. They’re the hardest things to eat in the world! And they squirt red juice on your clothes and get your mom mad at you. Screw Pomegranates man! Who needs ‘em? I don’t.

  4. You know, I haven’t visited this blog in. like,…two years, but the last time I was here you were talking about…pomegranates.

    And oh, I must say, I learned a lot from “My Tutor.” Just so you know, by banning VHS copies of that film you have cut the heart out of my adolescence, so thanks.

  5. I’m all on board with the bumper stickers, except for the ones that say “My son can beat the crap out of your honor student.” Those can stay.

  6. Paul, are you banning blogging from your life?

    (BTW, I see that you are FB friends with my friend Lynette. I knew her first!)

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