I Am Officially Banning Things
March 27th, 2009
Today I would like to officially ban a list of things that must be removed from the world immediately. They include:
- Olives stuffed with feta cheese
- Bumper stickers that brag about your children’s insignificant accolades
- Any and all Leapfrog sub-par children’s electronic products
- Pomegranates
- Ships in glass bottles
- Centimeters…as a measurement. (Who needs ‘em!?)
- VHS copies of the 80’s film My Tutor
- Corey Feldman
Thank you for your time.
I can get on board with that.
Comment by Stacey — March 29, 2009 @ 6:24 am
I thought Feldman was already banned or was that just an Executive Order from Clinton?
Comment by Jerry — March 30, 2009 @ 12:48 pm
I mus respectfully disagree on the olives.
Also, are you banning only the Leapfrog products that are sub-par, or are you using that as a modifier, e.g. ALL Leapfrog products are sub-par?
Comment by Cathy — April 2, 2009 @ 8:45 pm
I know, right? No, I’m not agreeing with you, I’m suggesting you put “I know, right?” on the banned list.
Comment by Susan — April 5, 2009 @ 5:08 am
I had a Pomegranate tree in my backyard as a kid. They’re the hardest things to eat in the world! And they squirt red juice on your clothes and get your mom mad at you. Screw Pomegranates man! Who needs ‘em? I don’t.
Comment by Fabian Marquez — April 9, 2009 @ 2:46 pm
You know, I haven’t visited this blog in. like,…two years, but the last time I was here you were talking about…pomegranates.
And oh, I must say, I learned a lot from “My Tutor.” Just so you know, by banning VHS copies of that film you have cut the heart out of my adolescence, so thanks.
Comment by Dean — May 7, 2009 @ 2:11 am
I’m all on board with the bumper stickers, except for the ones that say “My son can beat the crap out of your honor student.” Those can stay.
Comment by dgm — June 21, 2009 @ 6:32 pm
Very much in agreement over the last one. He should’ve been banned 10-15 years ago.
Comment by Erik — July 12, 2009 @ 2:47 pm
Paul, are you banning blogging from your life?
(BTW, I see that you are FB friends with my friend Lynette. I knew her first!)
Comment by dgm — August 7, 2009 @ 11:07 am
…but I like olives stuffed with feta cheese…
Comment by groovebunny — September 4, 2009 @ 7:07 pm