I Am Officially Banning Things

March 27th, 2009

Today I would like to officially ban a list of things that must be removed from the world immediately. They include:

  • Olives stuffed with feta cheese
  • Bumper stickers that brag about your children’s insignificant accolades
  • Any and all Leapfrog sub-par children’s electronic products
  • Pomegranates
  • Ships in glass bottles
  • Centimeters…as a measurement. (Who needs ‘em!?)
  • VHS copies of the 80′s film My Tutor
  • Corey Feldman

Thank you for your time.

Posted under Things I Am Banning. | 10 Comments »

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    10 Comments

    1. Gravatar

      I can get on board with that.

      Comment by Stacey — March 29, 2009 @ 6:24 am

    2. Gravatar

      I thought Feldman was already banned or was that just an Executive Order from Clinton?

      Comment by Jerry — March 30, 2009 @ 12:48 pm

    3. Gravatar

      I mus respectfully disagree on the olives.

      Also, are you banning only the Leapfrog products that are sub-par, or are you using that as a modifier, e.g. ALL Leapfrog products are sub-par?

      Comment by Cathy — April 2, 2009 @ 8:45 pm

    4. Gravatar

      I know, right? No, I’m not agreeing with you, I’m suggesting you put “I know, right?” on the banned list.

      Comment by Susan — April 5, 2009 @ 5:08 am

    5. Gravatar

      I had a Pomegranate tree in my backyard as a kid. They’re the hardest things to eat in the world! And they squirt red juice on your clothes and get your mom mad at you. Screw Pomegranates man! Who needs ‘em? I don’t.

      Comment by Fabian Marquez — April 9, 2009 @ 2:46 pm

    6. Gravatar

      You know, I haven’t visited this blog in. like,…two years, but the last time I was here you were talking about…pomegranates.

      And oh, I must say, I learned a lot from “My Tutor.” Just so you know, by banning VHS copies of that film you have cut the heart out of my adolescence, so thanks.

      Comment by Dean — May 7, 2009 @ 2:11 am

    7. Gravatar

      I’m all on board with the bumper stickers, except for the ones that say “My son can beat the crap out of your honor student.” Those can stay.

      Comment by dgm — June 21, 2009 @ 6:32 pm

    8. Gravatar

      Very much in agreement over the last one. He should’ve been banned 10-15 years ago.

      Comment by Erik — July 12, 2009 @ 2:47 pm

    9. Gravatar

      Paul, are you banning blogging from your life?

      (BTW, I see that you are FB friends with my friend Lynette. I knew her first!)

      Comment by dgm — August 7, 2009 @ 11:07 am

    10. Gravatar

      …but I like olives stuffed with feta cheese…

      Comment by groovebunny — September 4, 2009 @ 7:07 pm

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