Today I would like to officially ban a list of things that must be removed from the world immediately. They include:
- Olives stuffed with feta cheese
- Bumper stickers that brag about your children’s insignificant accolades
- Any and all Leapfrog sub-par children’s electronic products
- Ships in glass bottles
- Centimeters…as a measurement. (Who needs ’em!?)
- VHS copies of the 80’s film My Tutor
- Corey Feldman
Thank you for your time.
You know me.
I never plug anything, which must mean that when I do plug something it’s either because (a) someone is paying me to do so, (b) the voices told me to do so, or (c) the voices are telling me if I plug something someone is bound to pay me.
So without further adieu I ask you wholeheartedly to check out Travels with Two — a travel blog written by my close friend/voice/payroll coordinator. If you like the blog, vote for it here. If you don’t, then may Doc Hudson have mercy on your soul.
Yes. I have kids now. Cars informs everything I do now.
I try to be courteous and listen to my friends and colleagues when they talk to me.
I try to nod and look interested, periodically adding a “Mmmhmm” or a “Oh yeah” or a “No way” all the while they flap their lips, telling me about their nightmares or their car issues or the fact that the water heater in their house burst over the weekend. I try to seem engaged because that’s what a friend or colleague does when their other friend or colleage reaches out and asks to share their latest tale.
But if you’re going to talk to me about how many glasses of water you drank today..? I’m going to opt out.