Words for My Enjoyment

Today’s E-Mail Exchange Between Me and Sarah Jessica Parker

March 31st, 2008

To: Sarah Jessica Parker [e-mail deleted]
From: Paul Davidson [paul at pauldavidson.net]
Subject: Screw Maxim! You ARE Sexy!!!

You don’t know me, but I just wanted to express my support to you on this Maxim Unsexiest Celebrity thing. You are totally not the unsexiest actress in the world — I would say that’s easily Jessica Simpson or Britney Spears.

My best to you, Mr. Broderick and the kid!

Best,

Paul Davidson

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To: Paul Davidson [paul at pauldavidson.net]
From: Sarah Jessica Parker [e-mail deleted]
Subject: Re: Screw Maxim! You ARE Sexy!!!

Thanks, Paul.

How did you get my e-mail?

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To: Sarah Jessica Parker [e-mail deleted]
From: Paul Davidson [paul at pauldavidson.net]
Subject: Re: Re: Screw Maxim! You ARE Sexy!!!

Friend of a friend. Don’t want to get him in trouble.

Hope this was OK for me to write.

PD

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To: Paul Davidson [paul at pauldavidson.net]
From: Sarah Jessica Parker [e-mail deleted]
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Screw Maxim! You ARE Sexy!!!

It’s fine. I appreciate the support.

I just thought it was kind of unbelievable that people who read Maxim think I’m less sexy than Amy Winehouse and Sandra Oh. I mean, Sandra Oh is butt ugly.

What do you think? Matty wants to know.

SJP

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To: Sarah Jessica Parker [e-mail deleted]
From: Paul Davidson [paul at pauldavidson.net]
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Screw Maxim! You ARE Sexy!!!

I think you are way sexier than Sandra Oh. Amy Winehouse, it’s a toss-up. I don’t necessarily think she’s unsexy either. Plus, women who are strung out on drugs and all woozy are attractive to some guys.

Tell Matthew that he’s a lucky man. I’ve always thought you were pretty sexy, especially in that movie with Steve Martin where you were on roller skates the whole movie. I just mean to say that out of respect, not like I’m hitting on you or anything.

Best,
PD

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To: Paul Davidson [paul at pauldavidson.net]
From: Sarah Jessica Parker [e-mail deleted]
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Screw Maxim! You ARE Sexy!!!

I’m thinking of getting rid of that mole I have on my chin.

Would that make me sexier? Matt thinks so, but he’s my husband so…you know.

Write back soon with the mole advice!

SJP

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To: Sarah Jessica Parker [e-mail deleted]
From: Paul Davidson [paul at pauldavidson.net]
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Screw Maxim! You ARE Sexy!!!

Here’s my thoughts on moles. If they’re dark and squishy, or have hair coming out of them, you should definitely get rid of them. They can definitely reduce your sexy quotient. If they’re more like the color of your face, or flat — you can keep them. Look at Cindy Crawford — that flat, almost-tan colored mole made her lots of money.

As for Matthew — he probably just loves you the way you are.

PD

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To: Paul Davidson [paul at pauldavidson.net]
From: Sarah Jessica Parker [e-mail deleted]
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Screw Maxim! You ARE Sexy!!!

If you loved someone, would you leave the toilet seat up after being told how annoying it was at least three times a week?

Thanks for the mole thoughts. I think I agree.

I’m on Blackberry — would love to know your thoughts on the toilet thing when you get a chance.

SJP

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To: Sarah Jessica Parker [e-mail deleted]
From: Paul Davidson [paul at pauldavidson.net]
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Screw Maxim! You ARE Sexy!!!

Look, I love MB. Ever since Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. The whole toilet seat thing is just sort of a male thing, I guess. Maybe you guys should get those toilet seats that automatically close after someone uses it? That would probably solve the problem. But I still think he loves you fine — I mean, he’s been there with you over all these years so I wouldn’t let a little thing like leaving the toilet seat up make you think he doesn’t love you. He does. Seriously, I don’t know him at ALL, but from what I’ve seen it looks like you two are totally in love.

Does that answer your question? Hope so!

PD

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To: Paul Davidson [paul at pauldavidson.net]
From: Sarah Jessica Parker [e-mail deleted]
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Screw Maxim! You ARE Sexy!!!

Do you have a link to a place that sells those kind of toilets? That would help, I’m sure.

Any thoughts on if I’m sexier than Rachel McAdams? We did a movie together (The Family Stone) and a lot of the crew I interacted with always said I was way sexier than her when I asked them if I was.

SJP

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To: Sarah Jessica Parker [e-mail deleted]
From: Paul Davidson [paul at pauldavidson.net]
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Screw Maxim! You ARE Sexy!!!

Here’s the link to the self-closing toilet seats: http://www.harmonyseats.com/.

As for Rachel McAdams — I feel sort of uncomfortable answering that question. I mean, you guys are totally different types of actresses…I’m sure whatever people told you is the truth.

Ok — was great talking to you. Best of luck in the future! Bye!

Paul

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To: Paul Davidson [paul at pauldavidson.net]
From: Sarah Jessica Parker [e-mail deleted]
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Screw Maxim! You ARE Sexy!!!

If I dyed my hair red, would I be sexier than Rachel?

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To: Sarah Jessica Parker [e-mail deleted]
From: Paul Davidson [paul at pauldavidson.net]
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Screw Maxim! You ARE Sexy!!!

I don’t know. Look — I just wanted to offer my support is all.

Thanks for e-mailing back! Best of luck!

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To: Paul Davidson [paul at pauldavidson.net]
From: Sarah Jessica Parker [e-mail deleted]
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Screw Maxim! You ARE Sexy!!!

Fuller lips?

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To: Sarah Jessica Parker [e-mail deleted]
From: Paul Davidson [paul at pauldavidson.net]
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Screw Maxim! You ARE Sexy!!!

This Message Has Been Blocked

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